Chapter Seventeen

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Wednesday

When Mila steps into her apartment building and walks up the stairs to her condo she walks past a girl making her way down from her floor. The beautiful girl smiles at her as she passes by, and something about the smile reminds her of Harry's. Maybe it was her dimples, or maybe her kind eyes, she didn't know, but something was familiar.

The girl must have come from Harry's apartment seeing as Mila's is the only other apartment on the top floor. Mila can't help but turn around to get a second look at her. She notices a thick envelope in the girl's hand. What is inside it?

The girl disappears down the stairs. While Mila unlocks her apartment door she can't help but feel an emotion build inside her, and it is not a pleasant one, and she does not like what it implies. Can she possibly be jealous? No, she tells herself as she shakes the thought away. To be jealous you have to feel something towards the other person, and she most certainly doesn't have any feeling what so ever towards her green-eyed neighbor, or... She shakes that thought away as well.

-

There is a knock on her door, and she quickly moves to open it, knowing exactly who it is. Her hand land on the doorknob ready to twist it, but something stops her. This feeling removes the excitement she previously felt, and why she has no idea. Her mind can suddenly only think one thing; this isn't right.

She takes the feeling and pushes it as deep down as she can while she finally opens the door. Nathan is standing there in his casual clothes, and none of them are in the color black. His smile is as bright as always, and she can't help but smile back, and feeling she felt disappears completely.

"You look gorgeous," Nathan says looking Mila up, and down. She is wearing sweatpants, and a white t-shirt, and she can't help but think that no one can look gorgeous in this outfit unless you are Selena Gomez that is.

Mila shakes her head, before replying, "I am wearing nothing remotely gorgeous, and look far from it wearing it, but I appreciate the fact that you will lie to make me feel better." She smiles at him sweetly before bringing him into her arms. When they pull back she steps to the side and opens the door wider for him. "Come in."

Nathan steps into the apartment looking around as if it's his first time in there. Mila watches him suddenly fully aware of all the dust, and the stains on her couch. Isn't it weird how you don't really think about stuff like that until someone else walks into your house? How you suddenly become very aware of what state you are living in.

"Do you want anything? Something to drink or eat?" Mila asks him in an attempt to be a good host. In all honesty, she likes people who just ask if it's okay if they can take something, and then walks and get it themselves with permission. She doesn't like feeling like a maid for someone else in her own home, but she lets it slide.

"A glass of water would be nice." Mila nods and begins to walk into her kitchen. "Can you slice up a lemon, and put it in the water, thanks." It wasn't really a question, so she doesn't feel like she can object either. Her mind suddenly gets occupied with that one thought again; this isn't right.

When she makes it into her kitchen she takes a lemon out of her fridge, and slice up a piece. She fills a glass with water before she puts the slice in the glass. A deep breath leaves her mouth as Mila leans her back against the kitchen counter. She breaths in and out, in and out. She doesn't know what is happening, but she is suddenly very aware of all the things Nathan does that annoys her.

She walks back out into the living room and hands Nathan his glass of water. He is standing in front of her bookshelf. "I can see you have laid some books on top of the others. Why do you buy more books when you don't have room, don't you have enough?" There will always be more room, and I can never have enough books, she wants to say, but she knows he won't understand.

Nathan looks over at her murder board and walks over to it with careful steps. Mila doesn't feel like being close to it tonight so she walks over to her couch instead, and falls onto it tired. "Haven't you given up on this yet?" he asks with what sounds like disappointment in his voice.

Mila's body stiffens, and she adverts her eyes from his, but it's not hard since he has his back towards her. "What do you mean?" She asks carefully. An urge to hold around her heart in case he says something wrong, and cracks it rushes over her.

"Not to sound insensitive or anything but they are already dead, so do you really think finding out who did it will change anything?" Nathan turns to face her as he takes a sip of his lemon water. "It has been a really long time now. Don't you think it's time to move on?" Mila's eyes fall to the floor. She hears his footsteps approaching, and soon after there is a dip on the couch as he sits down.

Far away is what Mila suddenly felt. It was almost as if his words made Mila's soul pull away from her, leaving her sitting there empty. Move on, the magic word that makes Mila's whole body just stop, and all emotions leave. How can she ever give up on her parents who deserve justice? How can she give up on a mother who made her appreciate music, and a father who had the kindest heart she has ever seen. How?

But she doesn't tell him all this, because she knows that if he doesn't already understand it's not worth saying something to try and make him. So all she says is, "you're right. I'll take it down tomorrow." But in her mind, she repeats over, and over again the word; never. He smiles at her happy as if he has helped her, fixed her. When Mila notices what is behind his smile she can't help but feel that this isn't right. And her chest tightens as she realizes that she does not want to tell him everything she feels at this moment, but she does want to tell Harry.

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