Chilly

Prologue

Pictures of Erin Daniels shown above

Have you ever felt so lost and distant from everyone around you? Like no one can even begin to understand the never ending turmoil that is going on inside of you? Well thats how I feel now, I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for Grandparents raising me. My mom was too strung out drugs to care and dad was God knows where but I've learned to not take it too personal. When you have two messed up parents its not that odd if you turn out just as messed up. You can only pray that you don't. I can't even really judge, what good have I really done in my years , as mama says , "One who complains but never does, is no better than the one who does the damage." Maybe I'm just starting to believe that.
My mother had me at 17 years old, when she ran away with my dad. We lived in a small apartment in the Bronx. They didn't even have enough money to take care of me and as I got older they began to use drugs. Moving from house to house is what I got used to. I never had a stable home and at the age of 9 I was sent back to live with my grandmother because my mother traded me to get a fix. For the rest of my childhood I lived with my grandparents and I only hear from my parents once in a blue moon. No, I do not want you to feel sorry for me, this is not my sob story. This is the story of my life, how I've lived, how I overcame and how I survived. If I never walked in the shoes that I have walked in, I would have never appreciated the new ones that I have and if I never lived the life that I've lived how would I be able to appreciate the life that I have now. I do not regret a single thing in my life and nor do I resent my parents. Everything happens for a reason sometimes you fall but every time you get back up. Sometimes you cry but there's that little moment when tears dry up. I believe that when you're crying and the wind blows God is trying to dry your eyes so that you can look up and see the little bit of sunshine that is  coming your way.

Present

"Alright Nina, take care I'll see you tomorrow." I said as I finished closing up my shop. I owned a small boutique on Junction boulevard. Turning off all of the lights and locking up, I stepped out into the night air. If I didn't have Nikki watching Amira and they didn't need my car I wouldn't be walking, but hey it is what it is. I made my way down the street toward queens boulevard already dreading the little five blocks I had to go.

The sound of the footsteps quickening in pace to match mine was enough to send chills down my spine. I was aware that I was being followed for the last 5 minutes turn by turn. I sped up but I didn't glance back because I didn't want to make the person aware that I knew. I was being followed, but by who and for what reasons I didn't want to know. I dipped and dodged through crowds of people trying my best to lose the person. I found myself chanting in my head, 'don't look back, don't look back' but my heart was pumping hard in my chest and my intuition was practically yelling danger. As soon as I noticed a break in the crowd, I took off running. Again, I heard the footsteps quickly padding behind me. My breath hitched in my throat, I turned down a side street this time glancing back when I could no longer hear the footsteps. I saw no one and that filled me with relief.

I was two blocks from my house now but for some reason I couldn't go there, I wasn't sure who was following me or if they knew where I lived. Stopping to catch my breath for a minute I pulled out my phone to call my house. The phone rung three times before I hung up, and that worried me. It was 10:45 so everyone could be sleep, my fear could just be getting the best of me. I kept walking, glancing back ever so often. When I made it to the corner of the block I heard the screeching of a car turning the corner. Before I could turn around it came to a halt in front of me, "Yeah, you thought we couldn't find you bitch." The voice seemed vaguely familiar but as if on cue I took off into a full sprint not bothering to look back. I didn't hear the shots, but I felt them. The first one piercing my shoulder, it felt like a ball of fire was piercing through me. I didn't stop, I couldn't stop but the second shot pierced through my leg, then in my upper right arm and another in my back. I dropped, the pain coursed through my body like nothing I had ever felt and I heard the car speed off. It's like my world was spinning around me, and the pain was beginning to fade.

All heard was the sirens, I saw the lights flashing and bodies moving around me but everything was a blur. My body was numb, and it was like my heart was throbbing in my ears. The pain I was in was too intense, was I going to die? I had always imagined myself dying peacefully in my sleep as an old woman. Not laying on the ground with bullet wholes in me at age 28, but life doesn't always go as planned.

"She's breathing." I heard someone yell, but my eyes were too heavy. I saw bodies moving around me and everything was blurry. I felt my body being lifted off the ground and put onto the stretcher. I couldn't believe this was real, this was the end. Everything was starting to fade out, the voices, the sirens my world was becoming dark and it was like my life was flashing before my eyes, then I was being lifted into the air and everything went black.

"You have to pump your legs to go faster Erin," Nicki said as she went flying past me on her swing. "I cant go that high, my legs aren't as big as yours," I said trying to catch up to her. The more I kicked my legs the faster I went , the higher I went to my surprise. It felt amazing, as if I was flying. The day was sunny and the warm sun was caressing my skin, the smell of freshly cut grass filled the air. It was an exhilarating feeling as I whizzed past Nicki kicked my feet up higher and higher. I closed my eyes and savored that peaceful feeling until the moment I didn't feel the swing beneath me. In that moment I felt as if I was flying, that was only briefly and in an instant my body hit the ground hard. "oh snap Erin, you went to high and flipped off the swing your head is bleeding. Are you okay? Erin, Are you okay? Erin...."

"Erin can you hear me ?" The voice said to me, it didn't sound like Nikki's. Suddenly I became conscious of the noises around me, the beeping of a machine sounding ever so often and the sound of very faint voices. My body was strangely sore in a way I had never experienced. I opened my eyes, but quickly shut them back not being able to withstand the brightness that welcomed them. The second time my eyes opened they easily adjusted to the light. I noticed a white ceiling, and the strong smell of disinfectant. That was enough for everything to come back to me, someone tried to kill me and I was in the hospital. I closed my eyes again not being able to keep them open.

"You got lucky this time bitch, but I promise I'll kill you." I knew that voice and that voice was enough to make my blood run cold. How could he be here after all of this time? That's when a searing pain shot through my side and everything was black again.