Chapter 26- I'm sorry... what?

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   I looked at him, smiling, for about a minute and a half. "I'm sorry... what?" He gave a half frown. "I... just don't think it'll work out. We were happy for a very long time... and then I guess it fell apart?" Yeah.... I was crushed. "So... you're dumping me?" I asked, chocking back tears. "I... I don't know... I guess..." I felt my face burn. "F-Fine!" I said, a hint of bitterness in my voice. He reached out, but I stepped out of his embrace. "Akemi..." he said, cautiously. I walked away, pretty furious. How dare he? There's nothing wrong with our relationship. Maybe I'm not actually into Haru? I mean.... I have all those conditions. I have the insomnia, islophobia. agrophobia, depression, what if I also have a great deal of confusion?

   I reheated the stew, ate it, then walked up to my room. As I walked up, I hear Shigure say, "Wasn't she happy a minute ago?" I went into my closet, took out my turn table (a birthday present from Kyo) and flipped out my favorite Police record. I just listened Sting's (the lead singer's) voice and soon fell asleep to "Message in a Bottle".

   "Akemi? Akemi?! AKEMI?!!" I shot up, sweating from a bit of a nightmare. Kyo looked at me with his red-brown eyes, looking at me as if he were worried. I squinted at him, adjusting to waking up. He grabbed my face... and wiped tears from my eyes. I suddenly shot back. "WHAT THE BUMP, MAN?!!!" He hugged me pressing my head against his chest. "I passed your room, and I heard sniffling... you were crying in your sleep..." I curled up in a fetal position, laying my head on his lap. He looked down. "Are you okay?" I shrugged. "I-I dunno. Can you leave for a little while?" He nodded. "Sure."

   He walked to the door knob, and I ran over and hugged him from behind, wrapping my arm around his chest. He looked over his shoulder, confused. "Akemi..." "I buried my face into his back. "Thank you Kyo... I love you.... You're such an awesome cousin." He chuckled and patted my head. He left the room.

   I closed the door behind him, and got my "happy meds". I grabbed one pill, considering I'm only supposed to. But... Then I grabbed another one... and another... and another... until my hand was full of the tiny pills, and my pill container was bare. Empty. Vacant. My hand was shaking as I swallowed every last pill. Every. Last. One. I suddenly, right ahead, felt lightheaded. They were very strong. "Akemi." Yuki? I couldn't speak as I fell over on my side. He opened the door and I was lying on the floor. He saw me then ran. So what? He's just going to leave me here to die...?!

   Then again...  I guess that's what I wanted all along... right? My eyes closed, and I heard heavy footsteps leading to my room. I heard voices, but they were so soft... and so far away. I felt chest compressions... and someone opening my mouth and breathing in. Are they performing CPR? I felt someone's fingers go down my throat as I coughed up some of my pills. I felt hands lift me up.

   I then I began hearing voices better because some of the pills left my body. "You damn rat! This is your fault!" "How the hell is this my fault you stupid cat?!!" I heard something I haven't heard in forever... Shigure's serious voice. "STOP IT BOTH OF YOU! YOU GUYS ARE FIGHTING NOW OF ALL TIMES! AKEMI MAY DIE!!! SHE OVERDOSED ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS!!! GET IN THE CAR, NOW!!!" I then heard 3 slams (car doors?) I clutched onto someone's shirt.

   It felt like cotton and smelt like fabric softener. Kyo... I tried saying his name, but all that escaped my lips was a barely audible breath. Kyo... I'm sorry... it just got too much for me... I'm sorry if I dont make it... I'm horrible for making you worry... I'm sorry for making you care about me... I'm sorry for existing. That's why I did this... less of a burden for you to carry...


   I awoke with a gasp. It took me a good minute to take in my surroundings.  An eye chart, a picture of Kana Sohma... I was on a cot... Hatori's office. I saw a bucket next to me, full of a yellow gel-like liquid, and a bucket of more yellow liquid that was less gel like, and smelt distinctly like urine. Kyo ran from across the room... I didn't even notice him. He hugged me. "Akemi! Are you alright?!" I nodded, grabbed an empty bucket, and vomited out some more of the yellow gel-like liquid. He looked at me nervously. "Why'd you do that?" I look to him... and attempted to make an explanation. "They were anti-depressants... I was really depressed. His red eyes looked at me, penetrating my soul... the way I feel when I listen to Evanescence... and Imagine Dragons. How almost every song describes how I felt. He cared. I laughed a little. I then began crying. "How?" I demanded. He looked to me. "How what?" I looked at him, tears streaking my face. "How can you know exactly how I feel? How can you, without me telling you? How can you see right through me?!" He looked at me and shrugged. 

   I exploded. "ALL YOU DID WAS SHRUG?!!! OH MY GOD! WE CAN'T FACE ANY FACTS OF REALITY!" I looked down. "Is that all we do... is run away?" I whispered. I then exploded. "IS THAT ALL WE DO?!! WELL, I FOR ONE AM TIRED OF RUNNING! I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE!!! THAT'S WHY I DID THIS!!! I FACED REALITY FOR ONCE... AND THIS IS THE PRICE I PAID!!!" I pulled on my hair, which was already past my shoulders again. "I can't deal with this... I can't..." Kyo sat down. "I performed CPR and made you puke up the pills.... Reality isn't all that bad, Akemi." I cried again. "Then how come, whenever I set foot inside the real world.... I wanna die... why?" I asked.... "Why?!" He hugged me. He kissed the top of my head. "Don't focus on that right now... just rest...." He got up to leave, but I pull on the tail of his shirt. "Please stay? At least until I fall asleep, so I won't do anything stupid." He then nodded. He did just that. Stayed at my side until I drifted into a deep sleep.

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