chapter eighteen

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When it was lunch time, Jay told Mal that he was going to leave for the rest of the day, and then Mal did too, leaving as well. Jay didn't expect for her to ditch and just leave Evie alone. Even after what he said to her, he didn't want her to be alone, not physically or mentally, if there was an even mental way. But, if he was being honest, Evie kinda deserved it. Jay might be exaggerating, but he loved Carlos with all his heart, Carlos was the love of his life and he never wanted him to feel hurt. But somehow he did, and it was partially Jay's fault for letting Audrey kiss him. He was stupid to not push her off the second she put her lips on his.

If Jay thought about it too much, he realized that yesterday's incident was quite similar to Carlos's breakup with Benjamin. He had cheated on him with a cheerleader, and then Jay 'cheated' (was he allowed to call it cheating since he wasn't the one to purposely do it?) on Carlos with a cheerleader. Stupid Audrey.

And speaking of Benjamin, Jay spotted the black-eyed idiot approaching him as he climbed into his car. Jay sighed and just plopped into the seat, closing the door. When Jay had the keys into the ignition, Benjamin was standing at the closed door, knocking on the window as for Jay to open it. Jay rolled his eyes and pressed the button, rolling down the window.

"Can I help you?" I asked, not looking directly into his eyes, clutching the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white. When he didn't answer, I turned my head and stared at him, an eyebrow raised. "Are you going to talk or are you just going to stand there smirking?" I said, nodding my head towards his cocky smirk.

"Well, I want to do both, but then how would I ask you how your little makeout session with Audrey went?" His smirk got even wider.

I widened my eyes, "Are you kidding me? You're the one who got Audrey to kiss me?!" Benjamin nodded, looking proud. I clenched the steering wheel even harder, suddenly not being able to control my anger. I opened the car door, and Benjamin's smirk dropped. He tried to run off, but I grabbed him by the back of his jacket, pinning him up to the car, "I trusted Carlos when he said you're not the type of person that destroys relationships, but now, I'm starting to realize that maybe I shouldn't have."

Benjamin nodded, "Yeah, to really shouldn't have."

I gripped his jacket a bit harder, "And maybe I shouldn't listen to Carlos when he says to not beat you up." I seethed, "So, maybe, I'll beat you up again, doesn't matter if I get tourney as a punishment," I shook my head, "I'm already the captain, and everyone on the team loves me, so I can get tourney again as a punishment senior year, and I wouldn't care."

Benjamin shrugged.

"Tell me why you would want to destroy me and Carlos's relationship. Did mommy tell you it was the best thing to do when the person you love breaks up with you and goes with somebody else, who, if I may add, who can make him more happier than you can?"

Benjamin's look softened.

"Go rott." I snapped, dropping him on his heels and pushing him out of the way so I could climb back in the car. I slammed the door shut and started the car, driving as soon as the road was clear for me to pass. I raced out of the gateway and out of the building, passing by the students that were getting in their cars to go and buy lunch or probably ditch like me.

I decided that maybe it would be best to not stay at Carlos's house, and to just give him space until everything was settled back to what it was before. I ran a hand through my hair, resting my elbow on the arm rest. I took the directions back to my house, not even bothering to get my stuff from Carlos's house. I wondered if it would bother Carlos if I wasn't there, or if he wouldn't care at all since I unintentionally broke his heart. If only he wasn't as gullable as he is to not have believed that Benjamin was the one that forced Audrey on me.

Audrey had no part in this. She probably didn't want to kiss me at all.

My baby honey Carlos.

He's probably in such a horrible mood. 2 breakups did not seemed easy to handle. And the fact that him and I weren't broken up yet (or at least haven't decided) made my heart pound even more. I finally arrived to my house and parked the car, getting out instantly and walking up the pavement steps, getting out my keys and opening the front door. I stepped inside, quickly getting greeted by the house cat, Lula.

I cooed, "Oh, Lula, I forgot you even existed, you must be so hungry." I closed the door and walked into the kitchen, getting a jar of cat food and pouring it into her bowl. She immediately began to devour it while I poured in some milk for her. I watched as she finished it all, and I made sure to give her milk bowl another refill before going up the stairs and plopping on my bed. She jumped on top of my stomach, and I muffled a laugh. I petted the bottom of her chin, her purrs being the only sound I heard in the room.

Lula and I both jumped when my phone started to vibrate in my back pocket. I snatched it out, quite annoyed that the peace was interrupted. I looked at the caller ID: honey

I furrowed my brows and clicked the green button, "Hello? Carlos?"

"Jay, hi. Um, Mal told me that you left early but she saw you go somewhere else instead of my house, and I just, uh, *sniff* wanted to say that... yeah, maybe that's the best thing to do as of right now."

"What is?"

"To give eachother space. *sniff* But, um, whenever you want to pick up your things, if you w-want, then go ahead. And also, no hard feelings, I just-- thought it was best, so we could... so we could, um--"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Okay, well, that's all. I'm really sorry it had to be this way *sniff* I just need some space right now..."


"...Jay? Are you there?"

"I'm here, but I'm not alive."


"My heart just broke so much I don't think I'm alive."

"...Jay, please."

"Goodbye, Carlos."

I ended the call.

I'm here, but I'm not alive.



hings i did: that

decided not to rewrite this because it would take too long so i just continued it the way it is now :)

friday's update of model status will be much better (much heated) and i need you all to start leaving feedback on that because there a few people leaving feedback on there, and if i had stated it there, no one would really pay attention to that so please leave feedback on that :)

until next chapter!


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