Not real.

Chapter Twenty Four:She Helps Me Sleep At Night

*Gale*
Quit it Gale, it was just another damn nightmare. I tell myself over and over, trying to keep my emotions at bay. I glance behind my shoulder at my sleeping Catnip. But for some reason this only makes the tears want to escape even more so I turn away, and focus on the mountains out the window. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I try to assess what's wrong with me. What was so different about this one? I ask myself. My nightmares almost always include Katniss dying. But what was different about this one? Nothing. Nothing was different. I mean of course it was a different nightmare, but all the same components. Maybe I just don't know how much more of this I can take. Ever since being home with Katniss my nightmares are less frequent but still there. And sometimes they're worse and sometimes they're just bad. I just don't want them anymore. I don't want to have one more thing to worry about, one more thing to distract me from living.
Suddenly a hand touches my bare shoulder and I flinch. The hand pulls back and then resettles itself again. She sits up and wraps her arms around me.
"Nightmare?" She asks in a whisper. I nod slightly forcing my emotions down.
"I'm okay." I say softly, trying to convince her and myself. She kisses my cheek before whispering,"Gale I've known you long enough to know when you're lying." I sigh. I should've known better.
She scoots back farther behind me and reaches forward to grab my shoulders. She gently pulls them back until my head rests in her lap. She gently runs her fingers through my hair like she did when I was in my coma. When she does this it literally kills me. I close my eyes and let her do her magic.
"You can't be tough forever Gale. You should stop being so selfish and let me help once in a while." She tells me somewhat sarcastically. I can't help but smile.
"But then I'd loose my man card."
She scoffs,"You lost your man card the day your little sister found out you were ticklish."
"Well I guess there's nothing to lose then."
"Gale." Her tone turns serious.
"Catnip." I reply.
"I'm being serious about it." I open my eyes and reach up to trap one of her hands with my own. I bring my gaze upwards to hers.
"I'll try to let you help." She leans forward and kisses me.
"Thank you." She whispers. Then she straightens her back again, and goes back to running her fingers through my hair. I resume closing my eyes and taking it all in. After a while though my thoughts are screaming to be spoken. They're driving me insane. I can't take it anymore.
"I'm so tired of being afraid." I say in a smaller voice than I intended. Her fingers stop moving. She gently pushes on my shoulders telling me to sit up. I obey and we face each other.
"Me too." She sighs,"My nightmares don't get any better and I don't think they'll ever go away. I go to sleep always fearing what my mind will come up with, but then I remind myself that I'm with you. And that I'm not alone. We're not alone." Her gaze meets mine and I find myself staring into her beautiful grey eyes that I've known for so long. "Gale we're hunting partners. We fight together we die together. So we will fight this, Okay?" It's these simple things that she says that can change my whole perspective. She definitely keeps me on my toes.
My hands cup her face and hers place themselves on either side of my neck, her thumbs slowly running over my jaw.
"I love you." She tells me.
"I love you too."
I kiss her once. Then she leans in again and brushes her lips with mine leaving my mind begging for more. But much to my dismay, it doesn't come. I can see her smirk in the grey light, she knows she's torturing me. In her own devilish way.
   She crawls back under the covers and shivers in the cold winter morning air. I follow her lead and wrap my arms around her. She looks up at me and moves up so she's at my eye level. Her intense grey eyes stare into mine, reading all my thoughts like a book.
"What was it about?" She asks softly.
"You." I tell her. "I couldn't get to you fast enough before snow did." My throat catches. She brings her hands to the back of my neck, pulling me towards her. She's presses her forehead to mine, telling me I don't have to continue. But I want to tell her. I trust her more than anything, she deserves to know my every thought. No matter how painful it is for me to recall them.
"He took me too. And then he put us in the same cell. And we could almost reach each other but we were chained to the floor. And then he tortured you. Right in front of me. And I couldn't reach you." My throat catches again. "I couldn't do anything."
"Hey, look at me." I obey.
"He's dead. He can't hurt us anymore. And even if he tries, he wouldn't be able to catch me."
I nod. I can feel my expressions turning stony, trying to hide the fear that lies beneath my nightmare. But Katniss sees right through it. She always has.
"We're going to be okay. You know that right? And besides if anything bad happens I have my big strong boyfriend to protect me don't I?"
She tries to suppress a smirk.
"You only think I'm big and strong?" I ask suppressing my own smirk. She sighs.
"And handsome."
"Go on.
"I think that's enough for your ego mister."
"What about brave, cunning, talented, and not just handsome!"
She laughs.
"Oh?"
"I'm devilishly handsome." I smirk, she rolls her eyes.
"I don't know...the new guy at the butcher station in the Hob is almost as devilishly handsome."
"But you admit I'm devilishly handsome?" She glares at me trying to hide her smile, and I smile back in triumph.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night."
"You help me sleep at night." I add softly. Her gaze returns to mine and a small smile plays on her lips.
"Well then, if all you want is help sleeping then I suggest you do it now otherwise you might lose your helper." She smirks sarcastically. I will never stop loving this woman.
"Fine..." I sigh, "You win." She smiles, and in a flash she connects her lips with mine.
"Don't act so surprised." She smirks again. I roll my eyes and wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me. She snuggles right up to me and I can feel her warm breath against my chest.
"Goodnight Gale." She whispers.
"Goodnight Catnip." I say softly into her hair. She sighs happily and not long after her breathing evens out. And as she falls asleep, so do I.