Homophobic (l.s)

Chapter 30

There is a conscious effort on Harry's behalf to avoid any sort of conversation about Louis for a few days. The sheer thought of having to explain the situation is enough to cause an overwhelming surge of disturbing emotions. Harry also goes the extra mile in covering up the marks that were left lingering on his collarbones. They were a constant reminder of the moments that Harry thought would be the most special of his life. All this time he had wanted to hold off on losing his virginity, for the perfect moment...and person. And he wasted it. He wasted it on a selfish, volatile human. The first night he spends crying himself to sleep, wishing for a do-over. The second night he manages to climb out of bed and force a smile on his face.

Anne keeps her distance for those few days and is completely oblivious to the emotional turmoil Harry's experiencing because she concludes that it is just him coming to terms with leaving Cheshire. And she allows that time for him to come to terms with it. It isn't until day 3 when Harry leans against the kitchen bench eating his dinner that she thinks he's open enough to talk about it.

"How are you feeling about the move now?" She asks gingerly. She observes the way that Harry automatically looks over to her with tired eyes and he quickly swallows his mouthful of food.

"I took some time to reflect and I can't say I'm very happy about it. But you're trying to do what's best for me and I appreciate it," He says slowly, running a hand through his hair. He can't help but feel awkward under his mother's stare.

"Thank you for acknowledging it. I do love you, you know that right?"

Before Harry can respond he feels his mother's arms wrapping around him. It's a tight and warm embrace and it's the most comforting contact he's had in a while. He instantly relaxes the tenseness and hesitantly wraps his arms back around her. She stays hugging him for a few extra moments and presses a quick kiss to his cheek.

"You'll always be my baby," She smiles softly and then steps back.

"I don't want to leave mum. I've got a lot of things here that outshine the bad. I want to graduate here. This place is important," He says defeatedly. "Can you at least just wait until this year? Let me finish this year, it's almost over," He's pleading now.

His appetite is quickly diminished, and he pushes the plate away from him and scrunches his nose. He can feel the tears quickly prickling and he blinks a few times willing himself to keep it together. He'd done enough crying and he was certainly not going to do it again today. When Anne remains silent, he doesn't even bother looking towards her. He turns immediately and begins to leave the house. If he stays pent up inside for one more minute he'll surely explode.

He's avoided his best friends for far too long, and he knows that if he keeps the secret of moving from them any longer then he'll probably get ripped to shreds. So he decides to make his way over there. He does his best to keep the anxiety at bay, and consistently scrolls through Facebook as he walks. He physically holts still as his eyes fall on the friend request sitting there on his screen. He blinks a few times and his chest starts to tighten in fear. He reads the name again, and again.

As if Zayn Malik was adding him on social media.

The very same Zayn that would physically beat him up at school, torment him day in and day out. Although he had pretty much stopped altogether after Louis stepped in. His jaw clenches at the thought of Louis and he exhales. There was the party at Zayn's house...and he wasn't nearly as mean. Kind of confusing.

He could ignore it. Surely that's the right choice here, but then again that's also rude. So he accepts it and forces himself to keep walking before his mind starts overthinking. As he nears Niall's house he can feel the anxiety that's starting to pour into his bloodstream as his heart begins to thump harder against his ribcage. There wasn't a way of Niall noticing the marks Louis left behind because he was wearing a turtleneck to cover them, although he did know Niall would laugh at him. After all, it did look ridiculous.