I never trusted people
I never let them have a piece of how I was thinking or feeling
Cause if they know you
They can break you
I never let anyone have any part of me
Then I finally let go
I tried
I told her things I never told anyone
I let her in on my thoughts
Almost everything
She knew
But then she left
I turned back into my closed shell
"This is why I don't trust people" I thought
They leave you
And you end up broken
And you stay forever broken
I know I'd be seeing her again
But it'd never be the same
I could never let her see me again
Cause it hurt
I shed all the tears I ever spoke to her
All the tears were words I wish I never said to her
Cause she was gone
And all those words were pointless now
The last night replays in my mind still
The last hug we shared
The last long, late night talk
I decided I'd let her have me till the very moment she left me
Because I knew I'd never be that way in front of anyone again
I still remember the last words she spoke to me
Before I cut myself off from everyone and everything
Even my own feelings
She looked at me with sadness filling her eyes
I didn't want to cry
I didn't want her to see that side of me again
But I cried and so did she
She pulled me into our last hug
Our last and first goodbye
And she whispered in a broken voice I could barely hear
"I'm gonna miss you so much"
She said
Her voice cracking on the word so
Then she left
Taking the part of who I was becoming with her
That's when I realized
That's when I said to myself
I can never and will never let anyone truly get to know me again
It will only ever tear me apart in the end
For now I only ever wear a mask
And that's how everyone sees me
And that's the only way I'll let them see me
They're easily fooled
But I know who I am
