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"Stop it! Put me down!" I shriek as Monty throws me over his shoulder to avoid me leaving. "I have to go home." I hit his back laughing. We'd spent the entire night this way, laughing and goofing off. We felt like a family together. A missing part of me was healed tonight. This lonely bit was filled with the laughter and talks with my brothers and papa. Monty finally sets me down.

"Alright, alright. I guess I'll let Ms. Busy body go." He says. Papa walks up to me and embraces me tightly.

"I enjoy these nights with you." He says softly resting his hands on my shoulders looking at me. "Please find your way home more often." He says before kissing me gently on the forehead and the familiar feeling of his light beard grazes my forehead too makes me smile.

"I will Papa." I smile and wave and head out to my car to tread on back home.

I really don't want to leave. I feel like if I leave everything that's happened tonight will be undone. We'll go back to our busy lives and drift apart again. I hate this. No one can just stay in my life, be constant. It's probably because I'm such a fucking awful person to be around. Stop being dramatic. A piece of me says, but no I wasn't being dramatic. My own father didn't come help me move in to my first home. I haven't seen Mitts in weeks, perhaps that was a bit of my fault. Harry can't stand the sight of me. I've ruined everything.

I stop by the gas station and grab a carton of ice cream and a few other things, essentials you know, candy and a soda. If you can't have love might as well have food.

When I make it home, I quickly strip and change into a nice loose white tshirt, probably Harry's, and some cotton shorts. I call Mitt and we sit on the phone for hours talking about life and before I know it I'm asleep eating ice cream and watching Netflix.

Soon I am awaken from my slumber by the knocking on my door. I groan stretching and throwing myself out of the bed. I try to fix my bun quickly before padding towards the door. I open the door to Harry standing before me.

His hair unruly and wild upon his head. His eyes red. I study him silently with my mouth gaping. He looks horrible. Practically a ghost standing in front of me.

"What's wrong?" I ask softly. Although all I want to do is punch him in the face, I still care about him. No matter how hard I say I don't care, I care, a lot.

"Nikki knows." He says and his voice thick with regret and sadness. My physique immediately tenses. She knows. I'm an awful person. Im officially my mother.

"Knows..?" I point between us. He hangs his head sniffling.

"No, she just knows I'm cheating on her." A sad part of me was relieved at this. Not much, but a little. Had she known it was me, she'd be disgusted that I was around there children and lived right next door, kissing in her garage and fucking her husband one door down.

"Uh, come in." I mutter not really knowing what to do. He ducks in and avoids eye contact. Not Harry at all.

"The worst part is she's going to take the kids." He plops onto the couch and tugs at his hair. "I can't live without my kids. They're my world." He begins to cry. I just stand from a distance watching him break down. This is my fault- actually it's not. I told Harry several times I didn't want to do this. He's also the one who's having an affair with not one but two women.

"Why are you just standing there, judging me? I know this is my fucking fault. I was selfish for once in my life." He stands up yelling at me. I step and purse my lips in confusion.

"What an odd way to choose to be selfish? Most men buy a car or a country club membership. Not decide to have two other women." I retort. Harry's features harden.

"Don't think you're innocent." He bites coming closer. "This is your fault too. You teased me with those clothes you wear or lack thereof and all those flirty advances didn't help. Yeah I was greedy, but this is your fault too."

"You can blame me all you want, but ultimately, Harry, you make your own decisions. I didn't make you do anything you didn't want to do." I poke his chest. He catches my wrist.

"I know.." he finally croaks out. He blinks rapidly to keep tears from falling.

"Sit down, I'll make you some tea." I push him towards the couch gently. He sits down slow with his head in his hands.

I put on a pot to boil and sit back watching him. I shuffle over to sit beside him. I play with  his hair trying to comfort him. "It's gonna be okay." I whisper. He digs his head into my shoulder. I  try to find the words to say. "You're a great dad, anyone can see that." He lies down and rests his head in my lap.

"I just know Nikki's going to tear me apart." He sighs running a hand down his face.

"Yeah, she might." I chuckle. He rolls his eyes.

"Thank you," he says softly.

"For?" I urge him looking down into those deep crystal green eyes. 

"Understanding. I messed up I know. But I want you to know she really meant nothing to me. I-" he's cut off by the tea pot whistling.

"Hold that thought." I say standing up. I walk into the kitchen.  I stare at the cup wondering what was going to happen between me and Harry from now on. Will he stay here? Will he continue to use me?

When I'm done pouring our cups and adding sugar Harry's coming back from the bathroom. "Do you need to tell me something?" Harry says holding the pregnancy test box in the hallway.



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