Prologue - Safe Fairy-tale

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        It's always been the two of us. Mum and I. Me and mum. I obviously asked about my father growing up, but even as a kid I learned I should never ask about him again unless I wanted to see Mummy getting sick. Undoubtedly, I have a father, but he hurt Mum and never wanted me, so I've come to the conclusion that it's better like this, neither Mum or I need him. I was probably eight or so the last time I asked about him. I still get curious at times, it's unavoidable, but that curiosity has never taken the best of me.

Now, as a legal adult, I think that maybe Father is one of the reasons why Mum is so scared. I'd ask more about it, not because I want to know who he is or anything, but because I want to know why Mum hurts so much when she thinks of him. I should ask, but if I do Mum gets really sick and it's like breaking her, and hurting her is the last thing I want to do.

Mum is my entire world, not because she's also my best friend and the only person I'm close to, but because she's literally my entire world. As I said, it's always been the two of us.

I don't know my grandparents and Mum doesn't have friends, she does have colleagues and fans, but none of them is her friend. As soon as she finishes her work, Mum is back to me. I'm not even close to the people that clean the penthouse because these are like ghosts, always avoiding me and if we do cross paths, they always look down and sneak away faster than a whisper.

Mum is an actress, a famous and important one. She's always making big films and she has many loyal fans who have followed her since the beginning. Mum started her career back when she was fourteen, only after she turned eighteen this career really skyrocketed, though. This happened after she had me, when was over a year already. And I have always been her best kept secret, no one knows I exist and the one time we happened to be spotted together that one time Mum did take me out, people assumed I was her younger sister. Of course I've asked about that, why she's never revealed I'm her daughter.

"Because I don't want other people to know of my beautiful treasure. If they do, they'll take you away from me, they'll hurt you. I will never let anyone hurt you," she replied when I asked why she never told anyone she had a daughter.

"It's not because you're ashamed of me because I'm not pretty like you?"

Mum laughed and pulled me in a hug before saying, "Silly, my Rose. You're the prettiest of them all and I'm not ashamed, I'm just trying to protect you. Everything I do and endure is to protect you. You're the most beautiful thing in my life."

And I know Mum means her words because her sincerity is reflected in her teary eyes every time she promises she'll protect me from everything. And I know she really thinks I'm beautiful, even though I'm not.

It's not hard to label you as pretty or ugly in this society, even if you never leave home. Standards knock at your door, force you to open it and acknowledge them. They thrust themselves upon your conscience until you take them and try to fit their unrealistic expectations.

Flawless.

They want you to be like that, which is impossible because what are we if not a bunch of flaws? But we desperately try to be like that. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect makeup, perfect style, perfect body. We try so hard to fit in the standards and live eternally frustrated because we can't.

Mum tries to tell me not to worry about that. What does it matter if I'm overweight? I'm still the most precious girl she's ever seen. What does it matter if my eyes are too big and make me feel like an owl? They are the most expressive and beautiful eyes she's ever seen. What does it matter if my skin is covered in freckles? They are the constellations of my face. What does it matter if my hair is thick and with uneven texture? I can still do amazing things with it.

"It doesn't matter what you look like, Rose," Mum says every time my own insecurities attack me when I compare myself with all the beauties on the telly, all of Mum's colleagues. "I love you like that and you have to love yourself like that, too."

Mum is my everything: both my parents, my friend, my company, my teacher, my biggest fan.

She fulfils every role and maybe that's why I have never truly wanted to get out of here. In our big and amazing penthouse I have everything I need. Whatever new toy I wanted, Mum got it for me. Whatever I wanted to learn, Mum got me the online lessons and books I needed. Whatever I wanted to try, Mum got it for me. She'd always do anything so I'd never feel like I was missing much.

"Why can't I go out like the other kids?"

"Because you'll get hurt," Mum replied every time I asked. "And I can't take it; if you ever cry, if you're ever taken advantage of, if you ever get your heart broken... I won't take it, it'll kill me seeing you hurting. I want you always safe and happy, my Rose."

After a while I learned she really meant it, that she kept me inside and isolated from the rest of the world because she was too scared of seeing me ever hurting. I guess I'm too weak to fight to make her understand it's okay if I hurt, it's part of growing up. Or maybe I'm scared of hurting, too. But above all, I don't want to ever hurt Mum.

So I have accepted my life will always be within the spaces of the big penthouse at the top of the high skyscraper, with access to every luxury I might want to. Isolated, but safe. That can't be bad, right? I don't really have the right to complain when my life is filled with luxuries and comfort. Furthermore, this is the twenty-first century, do I need to leave my house when I can touch the world through the Internet? I can see other places, I can make friends in far, far away countries.

My computer. That is my window to the world and how I manage to be part of it while still being safe and keeping my Mum at ease.

Yet still... still I wonder what's really out there, what it would feel to be just like them.

I still wonder what it would be to break free. 

✂︎ ✂︎ ✂︎

Hello everyone and Happy New Year! I hope everyone has a good and eventful 2017. 

We start with a new story that I hope many people can relate to. It's also a change for me as it's the first girlxgirl story I write, but just as much as it has romance, this story is about much more than that. It's about growing up, being comfortable in your own skin, learning to take care of yourself and protecting your loved ones. I hope those who read and follow it enjoy and support Roselle as she finds herself.

The model I picked to help you picture what Roselle looks like is Erica Jean. Mind it's just a suggestion, that's not exactly what Roselle looks like.

This book will have some chapters that will be from Rhiannon's (the love interest) POV, and I'm still figuring out how to make that noticeable for everyone when reading.

That said, thank you for reading this and let me know your thoughts on the prologue on the comments below! Best comment gets dedication for the next update.

Bel, xx

~updates every Monday~

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