CHAPTER 7

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CHAPTER 7:

Milliana.

When he left he simply gave me a glance and told me we'd talk later before leaving. It wasn't until long after he left that I realized what this meant. He had met her. He was her father. No matter what happened or how far apart we were, we'd always be somewhat together. A part of me thought, don't forgive him, don't give in and most importantly keep him away from Ariella. But that wasn't right. I needed to forgive him so we could be the best parents for Ariella. I didn't want or feel the need to be petty with him, surprisingly, all I cared about was Ariella and lord knows I'd do anything for her.

I didn't know what to do now. What could I do? Would he want to be apart of her life? Apart of our life? Would he try to take her from me? Did he mean what he said when he told me he wanted me back? How would I ever be able to trust him again? Would I ever be able to move past what had happened in the past? Would we ever be together again?

I tossed and turned all night, these questions spiralled through my mind causing a sleepless night.

I never thought this would happen to me. I never thought I would get divorced and have a baby without him there with me. When I pictured my life as a child, it was all happiness all the time. I guess that was naive of me.
I know that if he wanted custody he could get it easily, but I wouldn't go down with a fight. He had more money than I did and the access to much better lawyers. I wanted to run away again. Go farther so he couldn't find me so easily. Then again, Ari needed a father in her life. I could never live with myself if I deprived her of her father after she had met him. Not that she would remember really, she was only nine months, but I would know. I would know I kept them apart. God, I felt so conflicted I didn't know what to do. I decided to call Nailah, she'd help me. After three rings she picked up. "Hi, Milli!" She greeted cheerily. At least one of us was in a good mood.

"Nailah, I need your help. He met Ari." I could hear the beating of my heart in my ears. Every time I thought about him finding us and meeting her, I felt dizzy, lightheaded.

"Who met her?" She asked, confusion in her voice.

"Rafa."

I heard her gasp. "How did he find you?" She cried, shocked. "You moved almost an hour away!"

"He was at the club, he saw me and followed me home. He heard Ari cry and, well, he went to my room and carried her." I explained, running a hand through my hair in distress.
I decided to leave out the part where he kissed me. Nailah would go crazy and so would I. Just thinking about that moment we shared made me feel hopeless because I wanted more. I needed to forget about it and push all that away. He said he wanted to be together, but how I could I possibly trust him after what happened? Just because I wanted him in Ariella's life didn't mean he needed to be involved in mine.

"Wow, Milliana, does he want custody?" She asked and I heard papers being shuffled before a quiet sigh.

"I don't know." I said worriedly. If he took my baby I didn't know what I'd do. Everything I did was for her. "What do you think I should do?"

"As much as I want to help you, this is your decision but know I'll support you no matter what." She told me, and I could hear her honesty.

"You're right, I need to figure this out on my own. Thank you, I have to go, bye." I wanted to groan, but she was right it had to be my decision. I didn't want to put something like this on someone else. "Remember, you are strong and you can do this. Have faith in your ability to do the right thing. Love you, bye." She said and hung up. I threw my phone down and sighed.

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