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xoxo Natasha <3
March 3.
What is there to say about it? For some people, it may be their birthday or an anniversary or a holiday. But for me, it just holds bad memories. The day I say my mom dead and in her and my dad's bed, the day I had to give up my friends, but most of all the day that I began living in my own personal hell.
As the date approached, I shied away from Jack and the others. I wanted to be alone, but they wouldn't leave me be. I knew that it was partly my fault, if I just told them what was going on and why I was getting more sad, they would have probably left me alone.
My mother's death was all I could think about as March approached. Yesterday I had broke down at lunch and told everyone that it was cramps, when really I was thinking about how good my life had been when my mom was alive and how it would be if my dad hadn't beat her, like he did to me.
When I got home after my break down, I went straight to bed. I curled up in a ball and hugged the picture of my mom and the doll she had given to me for my fourth birthday. I had woken up to my cell phone ringing, it was Jack.
He wanted to know if he should come over and if he should bring me anything. I told him I was fine and that I would be in school tomorrow, knowing that I wouldn't be. I never went to school on the second or third of March. Thankfully, this year the dates worked with me. I would only miss two days of school and then it was the weekend.
Today was the day I left for Virginia. The day before, I packed a small bag and called Dean. I asked if he could pick me up a few things that I couldn't since I was only seventeen. When he came by he dropped off the things and wished me a good trip. He knew, after four years, where I went on March 3 and why.
I donned my jacket, locked the door, walked to my car, and left.
My cellphone had been ringing non-stop. I knew that it was Jack, school had finished and he must have been worried. But I ignored it, I couldn't have him trying to convince me to tell him where I was and then trying to convince me to come back. I wanted to wallow in peace.
My first stop was the hotel, where I had stayed for the last four years each time I came to visit my mom, I would stay for the next two days. I got my room key and put my bags into the room, not bothering to look around. I walked back downstairs to the lobby and went to the flower place that I had gone to for the past four years.
Before I could drive, this was a hassle. I used to have to take a bus and sometimes would result in me missing three days of school and get a trashing from my dad and Jason because they didn't know where I had gone, and their anger outlet had disappeared.
I brought the flowers back to my room and put them in a vase.
I woke up to an annoying beeping sound. I really didn't want to wake up right now, the drive had been about four hours and I was tired. I looked over at my phone and the first thing I saw was the date. March 3, the anniversary of my mother's death. I flipped open my phone and saw that I had twenty text messages and five voice mails. Most were from Jack, the rest were from Zack, Alex, Rian, Lisa, and Kara. They all pretty much said the same thing, 'were are you', 'why did you leave?','is everything alright? Call us as soon as you get this.'
The most recent text was from Jack.
Hey babe, we're getting worried. Where are you? I went to your house yesterday and you weren't there, did Jason come back? What aren't you telling us, we want to help you but can't unless you tell us what's wrong. Please text or call us back, we're worried and miss you.
