Barred (nh au)

XXIX. New Emotions

I'm on a roll lol. You're welcome ; )

HALEY'S POV:

When Niall told me that he was going to tell me what feeling loved actually felt like, I had not expected him to kiss me. I could not understand the logic behind this, but the moment his lips were on mine, it all clicked.

The kiss was gentle, raw, simple, vulnerable, sweet and passionate at the same time. It was tender, slow and beautiful. Niall's hand cupped my cheek with utmost care, and my hands, to my utter surprise, found their way around Niall's neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

I felt the intensity of the kiss in every cell of my body, it set a fire burning inside of me, a wonderful kind of fire. I tilted my head for better access as Niall removed one of his hands from my cheek and held on to my waist, pulling me closer. And in those few moments that we kissed, I forgot everything that was wrong in my lifem I forgot the fight with my parents and that I just cried my eyes out. All I could think was about the guy who's lips were on mine and how amazing it felt. His lips tasted of peppermint.

This kiss wasn't lustful or needy. It was full of raw affection, gentleness and...and love.

Love.

That was where I felt it. That was when I completely understood what Niall had been talking about. I could feel it right through my bones and I wanted to slap myself for never noticing what was right in front of me.

Niall slowly broke apart, panting as our foreheads touched together. I didn't dare open my eyes just yet. Instead I back tracked my mind to the very beginning. How Niall would always be around to check up on me. How he held me countless amount of times that I cried without asking a single question or wanting anything in return.

How he took care of me in the best way possible, the kisses that we had shared before. The glint in his eyes every time I caught him staring at me or I found myself admiring him. How he defended me at the family gala in front of everyone, the first time we ever kissed. How he defended me from Aaron every time. How he held me tight as I fell asleep, stroking my hair.

How he sang those beautiful songs to me, how he helped me write Fools Gold and so many more instances that played like a falshback in my head and then I truly realised what Niall meant. His sweet smiles,  his gentle touch, his loving forehead kisses, his comforting hugs, everything.

Initally, fear took over me and this sudden urge to run away was stronger than ever, but I fought it and stayed put and slowly, it turned into just mad happiness.

All this time, all this fucking time Niall was showering me with all the love he possibly could and I didn't even realise it. He was showing me what it was really like to feel loved and all I did was build my walls up higher.

I then realized this was partially my fault as well because I never let people in, I couldn't help my natural reflex. But Niall somehow weaved his way into my mind, heart and soul and made me feel all these weird emotions I never felt before. In a span of one year, this boy had entered my life and gave it a whole 360 degree. He was the something I didn't know I needed until he entered my life like a fucking hurricane.

The butterflies in my stomach, those cliché fireworks, the feeling of being on cloud 9, it was all caused by him and all this time, I tried to push them all away, dismissing them with a pathetic excuse because I didn't want to admit it to myself.

But now I couldn't run from it anymore, I was tired of running. This time I didn't run away from my feelings, I embraced them and they engulfed me like a tornado.