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[Warning: This story includes self harm. If you're not okay reading stuff like that, please stop reading.

This story does not intend to disturb somebody or initiate someone to do the things included in the following chapters.

If you do self harm, please know that you're not alone. If you need someone to talk to, I am here. I know what it feels like and I believe that no one deserves to feel like that.

Stay strong, beautiful x ]



i heard his voice answer from the other line but i didn’t answer. i carefully placed my phone on the floor beside me before wrapping both of my arms around my legs. i took a deep breath, my chest shaking.

“mia? hello?” i heard him say my name. i bit my lip, stopping myself from saying something, knowing that i would just cry – i don’t want him to know i was scared.

scared and scarred.

“mia” he tried again, this time his voice was quieter. “talk to me, please”

but i don’t want to talk. i just needed to hear his voice, knowing that that is enough for me to be okay.

“your mom called and told me what happened. it’s not your fault, mia. please don’t blame yourself”

i felt my eyes cloud with tears as i hear his words. i reached down under my bed and pulled out my box. although my vision was blurred by the tears, i managed to see and grab the silver, neatly tucked between two bottles.

i felt the cold piece of silver against my fingers as a tear escaped my eye. i was too engrossed with the thing i was holding in my fingers that i didn’t notice the beeping sound coming from my phone.

he hung up.

i felt nothing as i watch the scar on my wrist continue to bleed, the red fluid slowly running through my arm. i felt nothing at all – but i knew the hurt and the pain were still there. i was too numb to even feel anything.

it was dark, and the cold night wind covered me as i sat down on the floor against my bed. the tears on my cheeks have dried.

my phone suddenly lit up, causing a small amount of light to appear in front of me.

i did not move, not wanting to answer his call. i waited for a few seconds, just staring at nothing, and then it went to voicemail.

“mia” his voice was so quiet but it was too loud for the quiet room. “please, just let me in and let me be there for you”

i said nothing as i felt my eyes ached – but i did not cry. i felt my lips grow cold and my hand shaking. i reached up and covered my hand around the wound – the blood felt cold against my arm.

“mia, please”

i just closed my eyes.

eleven | ashton irwinWhere stories live. Discover now