I've tried explaining my sadness to Robo-Hubs for the last two years, he's just not programmed to understand my language. So instead of the Ex-Bot, I decide to describe my sadness to the professional listener hired to help us sift through our marriage rubble. At least he'll nod and pretend to be genuinely concerned.
"We were soul mates. I knew it from the moment we met. There was an instant connection between us, unlike anything I'd ever experienced before."
CounselPuff hands me a tissue. "How was it different?"
I inhale through my nose, making that nasty snot gargle. "You know all the love at first sight clichés you laugh at because they sound too hokey to be real? That's how it was different. It was like stepping into a fairy tale—like stepping into a magical world I thought only existed in books and movies."
CounselfPuff sits quietly with his forefinger and thumb propping up his head, waiting for my next sentence. Ex-Bot, on the other hand, stares blankly out the large window. His body is stiff as a board, like an ugly park statue. The room is silent, typical for our counseling sessions. I think CounselPuff is convinced the absence of sound is where truth's clarity hides.
"I'm smart," I continue. "I'm careful. I don't jump into things blindly or foolishly. I research, compile data and weigh the pros and cons. But with the Ex-Bot it was different. I didn't need to know the history of his past or be given a report outlining the details of his future plans. I just knew. I can't explain it. I just knew I was supposed to be with him." I pause. Taking a breath I add, "Do you know what the tagline at our wedding was?"
"What was it?" CounselPuff politely asks.
"What does that mean?"
"The countdown to doom," the Ex-Bot says, apparently attempting to add humor to the situation.
He's a detached robot, I yell inside my mind. What did I ever see in him?
The Ex-Bot scoffs at my body language as I react to his comment. "There used to be a time when she would've thought that was funny."
YOU ARE READING
NURSE McSEXY (2016 Wattys Winner)Humor
**2016 WATTYS WINNER FOR VISUAL STORYTELLING** Letting her appearance fall to the wayside and desperate to find a reason for her life, Marilyn sits half naked in an Urgent Care examination room with a mysterious skin itch. If she can survive the hum...