Chapter 24

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Shit crazy man. I been out the hospital for 6 months. That's the last time I saw or spoke to Pam. I miss her a little bit. But I can't cuff no old ass lady. True, we got history of sex and sex only. But that just sex turned into her being pregnant with MY baby.

I've always wanted kids, but I wanted kids with someone I can marry and start a family with. Pam, she already old and got a family. She's 37 years old, I'm 19 that's a huge difference.

That's bond not to last, she's so much more experienced, but u can't start a family with her. Don't get me wrong my baby gone know it has a father but I'm not gone be with Pam. I have to go see her though. I know she just gone start the arguing shit but whatever, it still has to be done.

I got my shit together and headed over to Pam's house. I'm really not looking forward to this meeting, but I refuse to be that same deadbeat like my father, my little girl or boy is going to know they have a father.


I knocked on the front door and waited for her to answer. She answered the door and looked at me crazy. She was big, real big her stomach was huge. Damn. That's all I could say, I should be ashamed to have not been in this process. But shit I'm here now.

"What the fuck you want"? She questioned with an attitude. "Look Pam, I ain't here for all that drama shit iight, I just came to talk" I explained.

"Talk about what? What in the actual fuck do you THINK we need to converse about Terrence" she said. "The baby and- I was cut off by her interrupting me. "Hold up hold up, let me stop you right there. We don't need to talk about this baby, your the one who told me to abort it! As you see I didn't, and you told me you weren't going to be in this child's life. So get the fuck off my porch" she yelled slamming the door in my face.

Man fuck that bitch. Here I am trying to do the right thing and she won't even hear me out. I'm done trying fuck her, it is what it is.


The nerve of that motherfucker trying to come over here at the last minute trying to be like he trying to talk about the baby. Nigga bye, I'm to old for games literally. I'm 37 years old I'm not here to play Terrence's games.

I have 2 months left, then I'll be meeting my baby girl and I'm more then excited. I can't wait to hold her in my arms and love her. Things will be great, I feel bad that I can't pick a better father for her but it is what it is.

I slammed the door in Terrence face. His words weren't worth listening to. I sat in the sofa and watched TV. Reruns of wild 'n' out were on so I decide to watch that.

Then it really dawned on me, when will I find real love? My baby years are over, so there is 'there's time' no there is no time. I just want to feel loved.

I guess God's paying me back for all the evil that I've showed others. I can't be a real bitch, show a lot of hatred, but that's all because I've never felt real love. Never was that girl, that was so pretty and had a boyfriend. So I fell right into Terrence's trap.

He had smooth words, killer embrace, you know.. He just made me feel so alive. All the times I THOUGHT I was in a relationship they used me for sex. I feel so unhappy. I'm drained.

I want to find love, I stay up and think think abut me and my love cuddling, him telling me he loves me and us being happy. I just wish it would come true.

Richard Mitchell

What was I to do? I was clueless. She's kicking me out in front of my baby girls face and I had no way to defend myself.

"And where am I to go Bridget"? I questioned my wife. I looked over noticing her wedding ring was sitting on the counter. I was crushed. I know I shouldn't have kept such a secret like this form her but how was I too tell her?

"I don't know Richard, but sure enough you have to get the hell up out of here" she tried to whisper so she wouldn't wake up our daughter.

"Baby, I don't have no where to go! Don't give up on me, baby I love you" I explained. She chuckled and took another sip of her wine shaking her head at my response.

"Ah, bullshit. BULLSHIT Richard, is that what you just told your other woman? Huh? You love her too? Do you spend time with her Richard? Do you even work? You're probably retired! Your probably over there at your OTHER wife's house! Well, I'll tell you this you don't have to come back here because you can leave" she took another sip of her wine and place the palm of her head in her forehead and sat on the sofa.

"You love her don't you.... DONT YOU" she asked. I lowered my head. She laughed. A laugh that couldn't quite be explained. I was scared honestly.

"I knew it" she admitted. "Knew what"? I questioned.

"I know you love her" she stretched. "Who is she" "you don't know her Bridget" I tried to explain. "Who IS SHE"! It was really brought to the light that Bridget was crazy.

"SHES DEAD" I yelled. I looked at her and saw the look on her face and she looked defeated.

"What"? She questioned shaking her head. I sighed and sat in the sofa. "She's dead, ok, she died almost 2o years ago I ran out on my family because I couldn't deal with the emotional stress. I never looked back. I tried to forget them, to many painful memories, but now, I can't stop thinking about them. God, I'm such a coward" I cried.


((Somewhere in Chicago))


I made it home and laid down with Janelle after a showered from a long day at practice. I was tired, and just wanted to lay down and cuddle with my girl.

I kissed through her king soft jet black hair and placed my head in her neck and listened to her breathe. Moments like this, I enjoyed.

It always soothed me. Janelle was my rock, she held me down through whatever. I loved her so much. I've never felt like this about anybody it was something about Janelle that made my heart cry for her.

I needed her, if I don't have her I feel incomplete. Janelle turned around taking me out of my thoughts. She smiled at me and I looked deep into her almond brown eyes and smiled back. "How was practice" she questioned

I shrugged my shoulders. "Straight, I guess. Tiring" I admitted. "They can't handle my baby, huh" she said laughing. I laughed.

"You crazy" I said playfully. She twinkled her eyes shrugging her shoulders.

"I love you Janelle" I admitted. She blushed harshly and looked me in my eyes "I love you to Rod" I kissed her lips softly and asking for entrance. Our tongues danced with passion and I couldn't control my hard on.

I grabbed her waist pulling her closer to me making her straddle me. She pulled off her top and kissed me some more. Our breathing increased as I unhooked her bra.

I looked at her amazed at the sight and flipped her over. I pulled down her panties and rubbed her clit. She flenched at the touch and I told her relax.

I rubbed and sucked until she came. Her body quivered from pleasure I smiled and slid down my boxers. This was only the beginning.

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-yanaa 🎀

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