These Pieces of Mine...

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Chapter 38 - Rachel Stark

I don't even know why I'm on the roof. Maybe it's in the hopes that Steve will follow. Ha! That's funny. Like I have a chance. I ruined my chances when I stormed out of the room. I run over to the edge of the roof and curl up, my back facing the door and the city sprawled out in front of me. A tear threatens to escape my eye again. I quickly wipe it away with my fingers. I need to stop crying! Ever since Steve showed up, my emotions have completely strayed from my agent training. I don't know what it is about him, but he just breaks me down. I keep it together for about a minute more, then, I let it all out. Sobs rack my chest and I feel helpless against the world. Eventually, I hear the door to the roof open. I quickly pull my sleeves down over my hands and wipe away the tears that had been collecting on my face.

"Hey," a husky, familiar voice says. My head whips around. Steve is standing in the doorway. "I - I... I don't even know where to begin to make any of this up to you."

"Well you can start by rescuing me as soon as you knew I was gone. Or maybe not dating Sharon. Or just MAYBE you could've left her at home for tonight. The first night I've seen my FAMILY all in one room again since... I don't even KNOW when. Sharon is literally one of the most repulsive people I've ever met in my life! Why did you even go there?!" I was yelling now, my emotions flowing out of my mouth like a word vomit.

"Because you weren't here! No one was here for me! I lost you and Sam all in one swoop! I can't believe this! Why are you so mad at me for moving on?" Steve says, his voice getting louder.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! I love you so much that it hurts. It physically hurt me to be around you for so long and not be able to call you mine. And every time you'd leave for a mission, I'd die inside because I thought that if you died out there, you would never know how much I love you! You make up my entire existence and you keep me going everyday. I don't think it's healthy for someone to love a person as much as I love you. And I thought you loved me too! You told me when you were dying! The last time I saw you, you were basically dead, and then HYDRA told me you were dead and I was crushed. When you saved me, the first 2 minutes of your visit in the hospital, I thought maybe our bond was too strong to be broken. But I guess not because you found the first tramp and brought her home! I can't believe you! I wasn't even gone for that long when you guys met!"

"But I do love you Rachel! I love you so much that I needed someone to drag me away from the thought of you!"

"Thanks Steve! That makes me feel so much better! You had to get Sharon to forget about me! Awww, I love you all over again!" I say, moving closer to him.

"It wasn't like that! I just... It wasn't even a real thing. I convinced myself that I liked her in order to try and get over you." He says, trying to justify his actions.

"That doesn't make me feel any better! I can't forgive you because of that sentence. I want to be with you. I always have but..." I try to keep him away but with every word I've said he's gotten closer. He cuts me off with a kiss.

It's one of those kisses that you will remember for the rest of your life. Soft and sweet, yet passionate. I'm still so mad at him, furious even. But in this moment, I'm at the lowest point I've ever been. A tear escapes my eye as Steve pulls away from me.

"Rach, I could never string enough words together for you to forgive me. But I do love you. I love you so much that I would go to the moon and back for you. Being frozen was the best thing that could've ever happened to me. I thought I loved Peggy and I thought that Sharon and I could be a thing. But the truth is, no one I've ever known makes me feel as happy, silly, funky, and amazing as you make me feel everytime I see you. You make me complete. The first day I met you, I knew you were special. And I am so grateful that you have stuck with me for as long as you have. I know you are unhappy now, and you may never fully forgive me. But I love you and I really want you to try. I've been fighting for you for so long Rach. I messed up and it was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made. Please, just try." and with that, he releases me from his embrace, turns away, and goes back inside. I put my hand up to my lips and smile. We finally made it. 

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