Ulysses O'Mooney

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Excerpt 1 - Touchdown!

One of the more exotic visitors to Ireland is Ulysses O’Mooney who is in fact from another world entirely.

Ulysses let it be known that he was on a school field trip to investigate destructive life forms, and had selected Earth as a particularly promising habitat. No doubt encouraged by the flashes from atomic bombs and the level of radio noise that had been seeping out through the atmosphere.

Having received permission from his doting parents to allow him to vault through space and time, he accidentally smashed into an early human space probe as he emerged from worm-space. This caused some critical on-board systems to fail and he soon realized he would have to bail out of his ship. Secure in his escape pod, he ejected and plummeted safely through Earth atmosphere, landing near the small town of Ballygolightly in County Kerry, Ireland.

The weather had been remarkably dry and some of the natives of the town had been out until late, saving hay or cutting turf. On seeing what appeared to be a comet plunge into a nearby bog, a group of them hurried off to see what the heavens had brought down upon the town. After a great deal of steam and finely scented turf smoke had subsided Michael Moriarty shouted over that he had found something.

As they gathered around, none of the assembled party could but wonder at the large egg shaped rock that lay partly submerged in the bog. Mikey remarked that the rock was very regular in its form and appearance. A seam that ran around the middle was very precise in its circumnavigation of the thing.

“ 'Tis like a blasted great Easter egg” he opined.

The rest of the party murmured their agreement.

At this point Quentin Quilligan and his twin youngsters Paudi and Timmy arrived on the scene. The lads were attending Blackrock College, Dublin and in those heady days of the late sixties had garnered some advanced ideas, amongst them, a passing knowledge of astronomy and the like from the expensive education that was being lavishedupon them.

“ That is a Yew-Eff-Oh, an Unidentified Flying Object”, stated Timmy with the assuredness of youth.

“There'll be an alien laddie or two inside of her, I’ll lay odds”.

 “I think you are right” said Mikey thinking as he did so that this might well put Ballygolightly on the interstellar map.

 “They might be hurt. Let’s open her up and have a peep”.

 They all piped up in fascinated agreement. A crowbar was sent for, along with a couple of noggins of whiskey to help keep out the cold whilst they performed their endeavours.

 Having worked away tenaciously for an hour or so no impression had been made and little cliques were forming as to the best method to proceed.

 “Wait up and have a nip” said Mikey, “We need to think this through”.

 “Why don’t we bring this thing down to the garage where we can use the compressed air tools on her” suggested Quilligan

 “Jeepers. Quilligan” said Mikey “If you had any more brains you’d be dangerous! Good thinking!”

 John Francis and another man volunteered to go and borrow a horse and cart and went off. They had barely left, when as the whiskey was being handed on to Paudi, his co-sibling spluttered out half of the enormous gob full of whiskey that he had taken the advantage off consuming.

 Inside his pod, Ulysses was gradually coming around after the impact. The whiskey vapour that now suffused down under his elegant alien proboscis was a rare and promising new odour. He opened his eyes and his pod to open and allow him out.

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