i gave in,
maybe it was childish,
maybe it was selfish,
or maybe it was responsible.
i wouldn't even know the answer as to why i agreed to come over.
as i knocked on your door,
your mother answered.
"oh, taehyung? i didn't think you and jungkook were friends anymore? it's been a long time since you've hung out."
i put on the most believable smile i could and simply nodded.
"we haven't talked much lately, but he wanted me over."
stepping aside to let me into the house.
it was all too familiar to me-
the walk up to his room.
this time it wasn't the same as all the others.
this time it wasn't storming,
and this time you didn't need me the same way you did before.
either for better or worse,
it was going to be different.
before, i would of just went into your room and held you,
but this visit consisted of a few quiet knocks on your bedroom door.
as the door swung open,
i met your eyes.
for the first time in a little more than four months,
that old shine in your eyes was aimed directly at me.
it was awkward,
like two people meeting for the first time.
this time i wasn't your best friend.
this time i really was a stranger.
"come sit down." you patted next to you as you jumped on your bed.
i followed your instructions,
making sure to keep my distance.
the boy who once slept on top of me now sat at least a foot away.
"wanna watch a movie?"
i gave a short nod as you motioned to your tv.
as you turned to put in a random disk,
i let my back fall into your pillows.
they still smelled the same as they did back then.
they smelled like your shampoo.
i loved it.
the sound of a loud crack made me jump a bit.
rain filled all the silence we had created and thunder roared beside it.
"what is this?"
my confused eyes went from the tv screen to you.
you sighed and shut your curtains,
hiding out the snow falling outside.
"i told you, i missed the storms."
lightning flashed on the screen,
followed by loud thunder.
you flinched at the noise and threw yourself next to me.
"i hate it so much, but i thought maybe this way, things could go back to how they were- even in just the slightest way."