| | 9:00 a.m. ||
Jake:
So picture this...i woke up with one hell of a headache, took anything that can help with my hangover, checked my phone and saw that my drunken ass self called you last night...do i wanna know what we talked about??
Jake:
Mia?
Jake:
Ice princess?
Jake:
Ice queen.
Jake:
Oh! Here's a new one. Ice bitch!!
Jake:
Woman. GET YO ASS UP!!
Me:
We've talked about this, Jake. IT'S 9:15 IN THE FUCKING MORNING ON A FUCKING SATURDAY. LEAVE ME ALONE TO MY DREAMS OF RAVAGING CHRIS EVANS!!!
Jake:
...i told you my name last night?? AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHRIS EVANS??!! YOU GOT THE WRONG CAPTAIN!!! CHRIS PINE FOR LIFE, BABY!!!
Me:
No, Pete said it. HELL NAW!! YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE WRONG CHRIS!!
Jake:
I let you talk to Pete?? WHATCHU MEAN?? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA JUST HOW AWESOME CAPTAIN KIRK IS???
Me:
Yes. Yes you did. You told him to say hi to me. NO. BECAUSE CAPTAIN AMERICA TOPS CAPTAIN KIRK ANYTIME OF THE DAY!!!!
Jake:
Dang...i must've been real drunk. HA!! OBVIOUSLY YOUR CAPTAIN ISN'T AWESOME ENOUGH SEEING AS EVERYTHING GREAT ABOUT HIM CAME FROM A BOTTLE!!!
Me:
...you're Team Iron Man, aren't you?
Jake:
Foevah, baby.
Me:
THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* * *
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Midnight Messages
Short StoryUnknown Number: I buried the body. What now? Me: Umm...what? Unknown Number: Ah shit. Sorry, wrong number! Could you like...delete that message? Me: Will the police be able to track it back to me if i don't? Unknown Number: ...yes. Me: Ok. Dele...
