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Simon

I don't remember falling back to sleep. Penny held me for who knows how long. I couldn't even find the words to explain to her what is going on inside of my head. I don't even know anymore. Have I gone completely and utterly mad?

But the blood.  The blood was real. Wasn't it?

He can't be back. I killed him. I saw him die. Didn't I?

For a brief moment, I wonder if I am suffering from a psychotic break. This is something that I've been aware could happen at any moment. I've spent a great bit of time on Google, reading about different things that can happen after you've lived through something incredibly traumatic.

Could all of this just be in my head? Am I really back in London, trapped in my tiny room and imagining all of this?

Why didn't I let Baz come with me?

"You can't trust him."

The words echoed in my head, each stabbing me like a knife of their own. How could I not trust him?

He is the reason I am alive. I need to call him.

The golden light from the rising sun spread across my hotel room like a gorgeous duvet.  I reach for my phone on the bedside table only to find that the battery is dead. I pull myself out of bed and dig through my luggage to find the charger.

Penny is asleep in an armchair near the balcony, her face contorted in concern even in her state of rest. She didn't leave me. My poor best friend. I need to get my shit together.

I find my pills at the bottom of my bag and swallow one down. Now all that's left to do is wait for relief.  I take another look at my phone. It still hasn't even turned back on yet.

What am I going to say to him? I left him thinking that I was going to end things with him. Why am I so stupid? Who believes every ghost that they see on the street? Did I even see her or is my brain just coming up with super fucked up ways of telling me that I need to end things with Baz. Was she even really there?

Immediately, I stand and walk toward the balcony. I slide the glass door aside and slowly step out into the freezing air. My eyes are closed tightly as I grasp the railing. I want to look down just to see if she's there but I'm also terrified that she will actually be there.

When I open my eyes, I see nothing but the few people already walking through the icy streets. I feel relief pouring out of me. Maybe I really did just make it all up.

"Simon?" A ghostly voice calls out and I whip back around to face my room. Penny is sitting up very straight in the armchair that she was just sleeping in. Her eyes seems dead almost. She's smiling.

"Pen, what's wrong?" I ask. A rush of embarrassment blossoms over me as I hear the fear in my voice.

"Penny's not home right now, Little Snow." The voice coming out of Penny's mouth isn't hers.

"Ebb? Is that you?" My voice cracks.

"You've been a very naughty lad, Mr. Snow. Terribly naughty. He's coming for you." A chill went down my spine.

"The Mage?"

"He will arrive very soon. Good luck." Penny's body immediately went slack and now she looked exactly like she did before. I felt myself sob.

She awoke immediately.

"Simon, what's wrong?"

"Everything, " is what I would've said but I wasn't ready to accept it yet so I just shook my head and smiled.

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