Chapter 16 - Nearly Lost You (Screaming Trees ; 1992)

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Brendon and I found ourselves back at my apartment rather than at the studio. Seeing as it was getting late and tomorrow is Saturday, I invited Brendon to stay over so we could talk about Chicago and maybe get some plans together. I unlocked and pushed open my door, letting Brendon enter the building before me, both of us wiping off our feet before I closed the door behind us.

"You're apartment is so you," Brendon said with a soft chuckle as he peeled off his coat and hung it on one of the coat hooks in the hallway.

I rolled my eyes as I copied his actions before leading him into the living room. "S-Spencer said the s-same thing," I said with a scoff. Brendon laughed gently at my expense as we both practically fell into the couch, his head laying softly against my shoulder.

I felt myself smiling softly as I reached down and laced our fingers together, my thumb brushing the back of his hand. I felt Brendon's head move slightly before he was pressing a soft kiss against my shoulder, causing my smile to widen.

I rotated to face him, my free hand coming to cup his face as I leaned in and brushed our lips together softly. "I c-could get used to this," I whispered against his skin, earning a smile in return.

"So could I," he whispered back before completely pressing our lips together. Both of us were now laughing against each other's lips as we messily kissed one another, eventually finding ourselves lying on the couch, our legs tangled with each other's as I hovered over Brendon, propping myself on my elbows and brushing his hair from his forehead softly.

"You're s-so beautiful," I whispered gently, watching his eyes light up and his cheeks flush.

"I could say the same thing about you, you know," he replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I mean," I said with a soft shrug of my shoulders, "yeah, you could." Brendon rolled his eyes, causing me to laugh gently as I continued to run my fingers through his hair.

Brendon was beginning to close his eyes and sigh softly as he leaned into my touch. "You keep doing that and you're gonna make me fall asleep too early," he said in a faux stern voice.

All I could do was smile fondly down at the boy situated underneath me and continue to card my fingers through his hair. "Bren," I whispered, earning a small hum from him. "T-There's something I want to t-talk to you about."

Brendon nodded softly, following me to sit up as I laced our fingers together again and pulled him closer to me. I looked into the soft brown eyes that were watching me warily, waiting patiently for me to speak.

I cleared my throat and took a few deep breaths before looking to him fondly. "When I t-thought about going to Chicago without you, I was k-kind of terrified," I said with a soft laugh. "I guess I was more so afraid of leaving you b-behind without actually solidifying whatever it is that we have here."

Brendon nodded softly, squeezing my hand gently as a sign to continue.

"And," I added softly, "even though you are going with me now and that isn't something that worries m-me anymore, it's still something that we need to focus on." Brendon cocked his head to the side softly, confusion lacing his features as I continued. "Brendon, I don't want t-to sit here with you another second without knowing that I actually have you, let alone go to Chicago without knowing."

I saw the confusion visibly leave Brendon's features as his eyes lit up and a soft smile spread across his face. I smiled back, reaching up to cup his face again as I looked into his eyes.

"With that being said," I whispered softly, "Brendon Urie, will you do me the honor of officially becoming my b-boyfriend?"

Brendon then broke out into a large smile and before I could even process what was happening, I was being tackled backwards against the couch and having lips pressed harshly against my own. My eyes widened slightly before melting into the deep kiss and pressing my fingers harshly against Brendon's back.

When he pulled away, his smiling lips were red and swollen and his wide eyes were shining as he looked down into mine. "I thought you'd never ask," he said with a breathy laugh. "I honestly thought I'd have to be the one to ask."

I began blushing slightly as I laughed with him, pulling him back down to reconnect our lips gently. After a few moments of lazy kissing and shared laughter, I raised the both of us up from our position and kept our fingers laced as I stood form the couch, pulling Brendon with me. "Let's go to b-bed, love," I whispered softly, earning a nod from him.

I led him to my bedroom, softly kicking the door closed as we both entered. I watched as he aimlessly looked around my room, taking in the scenery before sitting down at the edge of my bed. I went over to my dresser and pulled out two pair of plaid pajama bottoms, handing a pair to him. "T-The bathroom is just across the hall," I said as I went over to the door. "I can change in there and you can change here, okay?"

Brendon nodded with a soft smile that I returned before exiting the room. After making it into the bathroom, I leaned my back against the door to close it. I covered my mouth with my hand as I smiled uncontrollably, letting out soft giggles. I removed my hand, still smiling widely as I began to undress and replace my jeans with my pajama bottoms. I balled up my dirty clothes and threw them into the hamper in the corner before exiting the bathroom and going back to my bedroom.

I opened the door softly, my eyes landing on my bed and the masterpiece that was lying back on it. Brendon had changed into the pajama bottoms I gave him and, like myself, opted for leaving his shirt off. The pajama bottoms were ridden down slightly, showing off the rim of his boxers and his prominent pelvic muscles, making my breath hitch in my throat.

My feet were carrying me forward before I could process it, and I found myself crawling over Brendon's body, causing him to flinch slightly before realizing that it was just me. His hands found their way to my back, and he gently pressed the tips of his fingers against my bare skin as I pressed our chests together.

I let one of my hands reach up to trace patterns across Brendon's cheeks as I ghosted my lips across his. "Y-You've got to let me draw you like this," I whispered softly. "They way you l-look lying across my sheets is something that I want to be able to see everyday."

Brendon's breath hitched at my words, his fingers pressing deeper into my skin as he nodded gently. "Y-Yeah, okay," he said softly.

After a few moments of silently admiring each other's bodies, we climbed under my blankets and cuddled against each other, our legs tangling as I held Brendon close to my chest. We were both on the verge of sleep when I remembered something important. "Hey, Bren?"

Brendon picked his head up to look into my eyes, giving me a soft hum in response.

I licked my lips softly before speaking. "I have a flight to Nevada t-tomorrow to go home for the weekend," I said in a soft voice. "W-Would you, m-maybe, want to go w-with me?"

Brendon's face remained blank for a moment before he smiled softly at me, running his hand across my chest. "I'd love to," he whispered softly.

I returned his smile before nodding gently and placing one last kiss on his forehead. "G-Good," I whispered gently.

"Goodnight, Ryan," Brendon whispered gently.

"Goodnight, my love."

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