Chapter 24 - Heart Break

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Chapter 24 – Heart Break

Feeling your heart shatter into a million pieces is never a pleasant thing. Having an already shattered heart be stomped on so it is no longer recognizable; that’s worse than death because you are still living. You still feel the pain.

Ashley lie on her bed, watching the sun set through her window. She felt so lonely. The one thing she longed for she knew she would never have again.

“I know you can’t hear me, but I just have to say this. I will always miss you, but I’ll let you go. I know it has nothing to do with me because you are already gone, but I’ll let you go in my heart. I won’t promise to love again because I know I can’t. It’s just not possible. My heart broke one too many times. You healed me last time, but I can’t take the chance that someone else will be able to heal this gaping hole you left. I can’t allow myself to open up again. If my heart broke again I don’t think I could continue living. It would hurt too much.”

A tear slid down her cheek, but she didn’t wipe it away. This was the last time she’d allow herself to cry. Crying made her feel weak, but this case was special; she was allowed to feel weak.

“I know you want me to move on, but I won’t… I can’t do it. It’s just not possible anymore. I’ve lived alone for so long without you, I’ll just make myself a new life. I won’t stop writing the letters to you. Maybe one day we’ll see each other again. Then you can read all the letters I wrote to you. They’re all written to Yours Truly. I loved teasing you about how cheesy you used to be. I’m sure you’re still just as cheesy. I guess now you’d be able to tease me about being cheesy because that’s exactly how I am with those letters.”

She took a deep breath, keeping the sob in her chest at bay. The tears were streaming faster now. The pain in her chest grew with each second as her memories flashed in her mind. They had been so happy together. Maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned getting married because it seems that whenever she even thinks about marrying someone it doesn’t work out. There’s always something to drag that marriage away.

Ashley felt numb, finally. She couldn’t do anything but watch as everyone ran around the house frantically. It’d been two weeks. He was gone for two weeks and he was finally back, just not the way she had hoped.

This morning she had felt something different, but she couldn’t describe what it actually was. She was doing slightly okay, but her heart still felt shattered. When someone rang the doorbell everyone stopped what they were doing. You’d have heard a pin drop with how silent it was.

When no one moved to answer the door she slowly got up and made her way to it. When she opened the door, all she could do was stare. It wasn’t possible. He couldn’t be back, not like this.

After a few minutes of her just staring down at the porch, or really, the body on the porch, Katha had walked up behind her, asking who was at the door. As she peered around her, she let out a cry of disbelief.

Everyone ran to the door at that moment and Ashley finally processed what she was seeing.

Scott was dead. They had killed him and left his body on their porch. Stepping away from the door, she sat on the couch. A few people asked her if she were okay, but she couldn’t answer. That was when everything made sense.

Just before they had taken him he had told her not to go find him. She thought he meant here, at home, but now she understood. He was telling her to not go to Verden to look for him. He knew he would die and end up there, but he didn’t want her to be there with him.

Had their love meant nothing to him? Did he really not want her to be in his life anymore?

Why else would he not want her to go to Verden?

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