Chapter Thirty

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[A/N] Short chapter!


Emlyn had apparently genuinely rejected the idea of being cooked food by a gay man, actually I doubted she even knew he was gay, for our ex-luna, it was probably enough that he was a man.

But either way, her treatment of Zack did not go unnoticed by Denis, and apparently she had brutally shredded him for not being 'man enough' the last time she visited. Zack being the sweet and loving soul he was, he never even mentioned it until Denis got angry at him for constantly trying to make her happy despite her unconditionally cruel reactions.

Denis who had been trying, for whatever reason, not to acknowledge Zack as his mate was now maybe finally giving in and I had to admit it was better to watch than daytime TV.

Zack, despite all his submissive splendour was arguing with Denis about good manners and cooking and bringing Emlyn's bags to her room. Denis was opposed to Zack doing just about anything for the old hag and the darling Zack was convinced if he tried hard enough she would learn to love him.

Words don't hurt someone like him, he's too good, too honest and too faithful to believe them.

Anyway Denis ended up sending Zack to his room for dinner (this is the day after she arrived).

I actually cooked something for the first time in ages to bring up to Zack in his room, I was kind of hoping he'd be in a mood to complain about the daft daddy-son hierarchy that went on in this pack. Actually there was probably elements of D/s in most packs but it doesn't mean I can't complain about it.

I was cooking food for Zack because Emlyn, completely out of the blue, said she was going to cook tonight, and went off to buy groceries.

Convinced anything she served me was either going to be spat on, cursed, or poisoned I decided it would be for the best if I made Zack and I an early dinner, and so I got a lift from Adam to the store (none of the others have a license, and despite all the bad blood between us).

When I knocked on his door I heard the tiniest, "C-come on in Sven," and walked in to find him clearly pouting with his arms around his legs.

I chuckled, "Are you sulking?"

His pout only grew poutier.

"C'mon I cooked us some food."

He looked up at me and then at the food, peering into the bowls on my tray as if making sure it wasn't just dishwater in them.

Then he started laughing.

"Pot noodle doesn't count!" He grinned.

I blushed, "This was my favourite meal while I was... away... Getting boiled water was easy and these were so cheap it was great."

He looked a little sad.

"Y-yeah," He looked up at me and plastered a cheeky grin on his face, "It's still not cooking though is it?"

"No," I sighed, "No one can cook like you can."

He sighed, despite my comments aim being to raise his spirits he looked more down than ever.

"What's up man? Why do you look so sad?"

There was a short silence as he moved onto one side of the bed and patted the space next to him, he looked up into my eyes imploringly, and I sat down next to him, resting the tray on our knees.

Something really must be wrong for him to completely forget Castus warning him to stay away from him, I mean he just invited me in his bed and I know that's not as dirty as it sounds but still.

"C-can you keep this... b-between us?"

"Yeah, lips are sealed, go on."

He smiled at me gratefully.

"Do you think Denis thinks I'm not good enough for him?"

The question came so out of the blue I almost dropped my fork, instead the noodles dropped onto my shirt and I hastily ate them before answering.

"Why on earth would you think that?"

"B-because, y-you know... You know we're actually... well... mates." The word 'mates' was spoken so softly it might have never existed at all.

"I already knew that," I stated.

He stared at me wide eyed, "How?"

I sighed. "Answer my question first."

He groaned, "Why doesn't he do anything?"

I gave him a strange look, "You want him to do something but you won't?"

"It's not that I don't want to its... it's that I need him to instigate it... I need him to show me that I- t-that I'm a-allowed to- that he won't mind it..."

A long oh escaped me.

"He knows, I know he does," He continued, "He doesn't do anything though, why?"

The why sounded so painful it made me stop to stare at him for a little while.

"He said I try too hard to make people like me, maybe that's why he doesn't like me? Maybe he wants me to be more like you."

I frowned.

"You're so independent, I'm just the opposite, if my mate rejected me I would die, I could never get revenge like you and live off the grid for two years.

"I would probably beg, I would probably cry and beg for him to take me back and I... I would promise him anything just.... anything if only he would reconsider... Because I'm not strong like you," He whimpered.

I stared at him silently.

"He must be disappointed," He concluded.

I would have disagreed immediately had he not shocked me by beginning to cry, big fat tears tumbling down his cheeks right out of nowhere, when he turned and buried his head in my shoulder I suddenly looked up and realized, by looking at Zack, how futile emotions were, how simple everything could have been.

His tears were wet on my shoulder, his cheeks felt hot despite their normal colour, he was really upset.

It was a shock to realize that for the past two years I'd been living on Groundhog Day, the moment where my mate broke my heart, burned it and set the ashes on fire, I'd just repeated it over and over in my head till it made me sick till I couldn't stand it anymore.

I was so sick of feeling. But more than that, I was so sick of feeling the same.

Everyday felt like déjà vu.

"You're wrong," Was all I could bring myself to say.

But Zack didn't notice, he didn't look up, I doubted he even heard me.

It's moments like these where I recognize peoples need to vent, and that means all they want is to talk, your opinions on their emotions aren't necessary, because all they want is a shoulder to cry on.

I tucked Zack in properly as his eyes began to close and I snuggled up close to him 

I gave a deep sigh, tomorrow was hunting day, I would finally get out there in my wolf fur, maybe I would should everyone what a good hunter I had become on my own four feet.

Maybe it would be a good day tomorrow, for both me and Zack, hopefully.

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