Advice for the Love Torn

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Dear Ms. Fay,

I have an ethical dilemma. I'm a hard-working nurse in a busy hospital. On weekends, I enjoy a girls' night out but find most men superficial and sexist. I'd almost given up dating when I met the perfect man. He's sweet and funny, and works as a school principal. A handsome man with prospects like that won't stay single long. Mr. Wonderful asked me out on a couple of dates and we've had fun but I have a big problem.

Once a month I'm just not myself. To describe my behaviour as erratic and uncontrolled would be an understatement. Normally, the only thing to do is cage myself up and not see anyone until I transform back into my usual self. So far, I've been able to put him off during my monthly madness, but now Mr. Wonderful wants to go on a March Break cruise. I'd love to but his school holiday falls during my difficult time. If I put him off, I'm afraid he'll give up and find another girl. If I go, we'll be locked up inside the same ship's cabin when I'm baying at the moon. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Harriet Scary

Dear Harriet,

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Dear Harriet,

The basis of a true relationship is honesty. A grownup won't expect you to pretend nothing is wrong when your body is driving you crazy. You will just end up sabotaging the relationship by protecting him from ugly reality. Women aren't fairy princesses and men aren't little boys. Your prospective mate deserves to know it if you go crazy once a month. If he's the right man for you, he will stand by you with a box of tissues and a bottle of Advil. You didn't ask to be tortured by your lunar cycles. A true lover shouldn't hold that against you.

Sincerely,

Ms. Fay

Dear Ms

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Dear Ms. Fay,

Your advice is sage but well nigh impossible to follow! Ladies today, even the mature, simply lack conversation. I tried to chat with a pretty brunette who claimed to be over thirty, but she insisted on taking what she called "selfies." Too late I realized she meant to capture my photographic image. Disaster! It made me yearn for the simple courtships of yore.

Next, I tried a blonde with striking features. I sat and listened for hours, anticipating the meaningful exchange you promised, but she spoke of nothing but the minutiae of her so-called "fitness routine."

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