Chapter 19

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I been watching my back lately. It's been about 2 weeks since the whole thing occurred between me and Terrence. Terrence is one sneaky motherfucker so I know he has something up his sleeve, so I would t be surprised if a. Lack bag was to appear over my head and I'm dragged into some alley. Call me scary but, you can bet I'm staying my black ass in the house. I have to much to live for. If he wants to kill me he'll have to come to my damn doorstep for all that. Why set myself up for failure by stepping out the house knowing I'm wanted by revenge. By all means I did shoot that nigga dick off, I'd be mad too. He's been in the hospital so I'm pretty sure they could've replaced it with a fake one. Ain't nothing like 'your' own dick. I laughed at my thought and sat down on the sofa and flipped through some channels and BET was showing For Colored Girls. The whole situation played over in my head due to the scene when the girl was being raped was showing. It makes my blood boil to think of what would have occurred if I didn't step in when I did.

It still makes me wonder. What the fuck was Pam doing? Why in the hell didn't she hear what was going on. I had to find that shit out. Pam was a good liar, but she can't hold guilt. So when she spills out that secret she's been hiding. I might loose it. Pam's been lying all her life so I don't trust not a damn thing that comes out of her mouth, she's a serpent in disguise. Words slick as butter, but she can't hold guilt. She's lied her way through almost every situation. Not this one, I don't care if I have to beat the shit out of Pam so she'll spill it. If that's what I have to do then get ready for this ass whoopen Pam.


I paced the floor of my room. I felt as if the walls were closing in on me. I can't hold it in anymore, I look at myself in the mirror every night knowing what I did. My conscience is acing for the truth and I just can't give it to it. I didn't expect for Rod to show up at the time he did. He was out on one of his late night walks where he clears his mind. Terrence was still up and asked me to come over and speak to him and I did.

(Flash back) - 2 weeks ago

"Pam I'm gone" I heard Rod say through my light sleep. He always walks around the neighborhood for about an hour and clears his mind form what may of 'bad' happened in the day. Terrence had spent the night and came into my room. Me and Terrence had been secretly sleeping together. I was falling in live with him but he was my little brothers best friend so I couldn't have him, we had to keep our relationship a secret.

He came into my room and we started to kiss and touch and all, soon enough we were having sex. After we were done we sat and talked and I asked why couldn't we be together? And why we just won't let our love out in the open? He just put back in his clothes and sat next to me. "Because Pam, you know what we have has and will always stay a secret nothing else! So stop asking me about the same bullshit". He snapped.

Terrence had a quick temper, so I didn't test him. He stood up I front of me and kissed my lips. "Pam, I been wanting to tell you this for a while"! He began. "Tell me what"? I asked in suspense hoping to hear what I thought I was about to hear. H he was finally going to tell me he 'loved' me

"I'm interested in Janelle! Like damn shawty bad as fuck let me get at 'er"! He squealed. Our agreement at the beginning of our affair was we could fuck other people. But not my damn sister, I was just beginning to like Janelle. I was crushed to hear him say those words. I was hoping he was going to tell me he loved me instead of 'lemme fuck yo' sister Pam'. My heart broke into a thousand pieces. Why would he even want her? I'm better then her. I'm more experienced a better body, I'm prettier. Dammit.

I frowned my face trying to hold back my tears. That's what I get for letting g her ass in my home. That pure hatred for Janelle came rushing in. First she took away my daddy, the. My momma, then Rod now thus bitch was taking Terrence away form me. What else was she going to destroy for me?

"Um, yeah why not"? I said trying not to upset Terrence by saying 'no' he smiled and kissed my lips. "Alright, imma be back" he told me before walking out. I was furious. I heard everything. She didn't want it but he was about to rape her. I wanted her to hurt so I just listen to it all happen! She deserved it. I was angry as fuck that he wanted her and not me. I suck his dick, like he wants me to. I have sex with him every time he asks, even when I didn't want to. What was I doing wrong? I hate Janelle, and her days here are limited.

When Rod returned, I didn't expect for him to act the way he did. I dint even know he had a gun. I saw Terrence look me in my eyes for help, I loved him but I was still mad at him for wanting to fuck that bitch. So I stood there. After the second fire I begged Rod to stop, but he aimed his pistol at me.

End of flashback

I know Rod is still suspicious about the whole thing, and I can't keep this awful secret any more. I'm about to bust! But not just yet, not at this point I'm scared on what will happen. Bad things are about to happen and it's all because of Janelle. She better watch her back because, I got something coming for that ass.


I've had major surgery. Who knew you could get a dick replaced. I feel funny knowing the dick on my body ain't my dick, I bet I can't even bust a nut, or have babies. But I'm happy with this dick it's bigger and thicker. I'll fuck a whole lot of bitches. The doctor say it'll feel just as If it was mine.

I'll be out this shitty as hospital in 3 more weeks, and when those 3 more weeks come it's game time. I was laying in bed watching TV when I heard a knock on the door. I looked over to see the nurse Joanne, bad ass white girl and Pam with some flowers. "You have a visitor Me. Davis" she announced before leaving.

"What's up" I said to Pam as she sat next to me in the chair. "Hey baby" she sang kissing my lips before she sat down. "I'm sorry this had to happen" she explained. Me and Pam been fucking for quite sometime now, and I know she was in love with me but I had no feelings for her what's so ever. She was just good for throwing her pussy and sucking my dick. She could suck really suck some dick.

She wanted us to be together but I ain't want to be with her at all! When we first started having sex the agreement was to have sex and sex only, no feelings attached, nothing and we could fuck other people. That's why I didn't hesitate trying to get at Janelle.

Pam need to catch a grip and hold on to it, what can't she see I don't want to be with her. She 37 I'm 18 this shit ain't gone work. "It's cool, I got bigger and better things planned" I said moving back the covers showing her my 'replacement' she smiled big and git wide eyed. "Damn, can't wait to taste that". She said licking her lips then sitting back down in her chair.

The room was silent, with the voices from the TV interrupting. "Terrence I have to talk to you about something" she began. I rolled my eyes knowing what it'll be about. "Pam don't start that 'we should be together' shit again" I said angrily. "No baby, it's not about that" she said. "Iight, then what the fuck is it"? I asked becoming impatient. "Terrence-" "what bitch damn"? I yelled. "Terence, Terrence I'm pregnant"!

Ok I told you they'll be a surprise . What do you think?

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-yanaa 🎀

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