Day 135.1

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(Draft mail)

To : harrylastimosamd@fhrlab.com
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FRI, DEC 16
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Harry,

How are you? What keeps you breathing these days?

It's been almost two months since I last saw you. I'm doing everything I can to let go. Well, aside from writing these drafts. And aside from looking at your photos. And aside from talking to your friends and your sister.

Okay. Maybe, I'm not trying that hard. Pero pano ba kasi ang bitiwan ka?

You're... everywhere. It's like the world revolves around you—my sun, my moon, my stars.

Gosh. Hindi pa tayo masyadong nagkasama niyan, ha?

Ang alam ko pa lang sayo, yung cold na workaholic na ikaw sa lab. At yung palahirit na alamat sa videos ni Neah.

So, why do I feel like I know you all my life? Why am I feeling this way to you?

I don't want these feelings anymore. Ilang ulit na kong nag-isip ng rason para ayawan ka. Ilang ulit na kong nag-bargain sa sarili ko.

Ilang ulit na kong nagising... thinking I should forget you. Ilang ulit na rin akong natulog... thinking I should forget you.

But I always wake up, go through the day, and sleep with thoughts about you.

And I always wake up, go through the day, and sleep while missing you.

I'm missing you. Why am I missing you?

Napapagod na kong magtanong sa lahat ng bakit.

I miss you, Harry. I hope you're doing well.

- Jia

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