Chapter 57

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The room was an absolute mess. The bed had been turned over, the dresser scattered around the room in broken pieces and the door was hanging from one hinge. Glass was broken and there were holes in the walls made from fists. In the centre of the mess of broken furniture was Zero. He was breathing heavily, his hands held in fists so tight that his knuckles were white. Tears of anger and frustration and sadness were rolling down his face and he was biting his bottom lip to keep from screaming so hard that he tasted blood.

He scanned the mess he made with his vision blurred by angry tears. His legs felt unsteady and he felt his lip trembling between his teeth. His breathing was ragged, unsteady and painful. His throat burnt horribly and his chest was aching. Though his fists were clenched tightly, he could feel himself shaking.

He blinked a couple of times, blinked the tears away in an attempt to clear his blurry vision. As he did this, the mess became clearer, the anger in his actions became clearer and the pain in his chest raged. His unsteady legs crumpled beneath him and he dropped to his knees, a broken sob escaping past his lips, his bottom lip being released from his teeth. It was swollen and bloody and a blazing red against his pale skin.

Hunching forward, he placed his palms on the carpeted floor and cried out. His voice was gruff and loud and anguished. The blood from his lip, mixed in with a bit of dribble, made a thick stream from his mouth and onto the floor. He couldn't hold back his cries, his body wracking with the near violent sobs that left his lips and he screamed again. He banged his fist on the floor repeatedly, feeling the shock of the blows painfully pulsate up his arm and to his spine.

Zero's mind was racing with the recent events, his thoughts a jumbled mess of incoherent words and recounts of what had happened. His thoughts bounced from event to event, and each one hurt just as much as the last.

But there was one thing that his thoughts couldn't quite get past; for every thought of one event, his mind would reel back to this one that stood out against the rest of them. He could still feel the terror and the anguish of this event as if he was reliving it, as if he was committing the sin again.

"... Ichiru..." He sobbed quietly, ceasing his banging on the ground and his hand came up to cover his eyes. He rolled to his side and cried, feeling the tears roll endlessly from his eyes. He could still taste his twin's blood on his tongue.

He could still hear his weak words, he would still feel Ichiru's weak heart beating against his hand as he held him. He could still smell his blood assaulting his nose, he could taste the aroma and he could feel it still burning his throat.

Zero could still taste Ichiru's life on his tongue. He could still feel his twin's own memories flooding and flickering in his mind. He could still taste Ichiru's skin and still feel his twin's life fading, his heart weakening and the life leaving him all together. Zero could feel his other half inside of him, inside his veins, and he mourned the death of his other half even though he lived inside of him now.

And then there was Charlotte... she had felt Ichiru's death the moment it happened, she had even seen it. She knew that Ichiru was going to die and she didn't warn him─didn't warn any of them. And Zero supposed he should have been angry. There were many things that Charlotte was involved in that he should have been angry about─angry with her.

But he wasn't. He couldn't get angry at her. He couldn't get angry at her and he didn't know why he couldn't be angry with her and hate her. She had lied to him and his family. She ran off with the very woman who killed his family and ruined his life, and then she returned without so much as an apology or an explanation. She didn't even tell him that Ichiru was alive and that she had been with him as well for the last four years of their separation.

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