The other day I posted a quotes page on Twilight, and I know there are a lot of Twi-hards and Twi-haters on here, so to even it out, I've decided to post a jokes page, hope you enjoy :)
Q.How do you weaken Edward?
A. You take away his hair gel.
Q: How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
A: I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen.
Q: What do Edward and a Christmas tree have in common?
A: Their Balls Are For Decoration - I'm sorry but who ever came up with this is a LEGEND! xD
Q: Why can't Edward read Bella's mind?
A: There's nothing to read.
Q: Where do the Cullens go for an all day buffet?
A: The Zoo
Q: How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
A: You pick up a stick, throw it and yell 'fetch'!
Bella: I know what you are. Edward: Say it, out loud. Bella: Gay - I could imagine her saying this in my mind... xDxD
The only good thing about Edward Cullen is that there is only one!
How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!
Next few are from Jacob to Rosalie in Breaking Dawn, have to say I loved Jacob for these jokes xD
"You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? - Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool."
"Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain? - a golden retriever." - I used this on my old friend, she chased me around a table... but then fell over a chair that was blatantly in front of her... talk about proving something right in the funniest way possible xD
"S'not so hard to erase a blonde's memory - Just blow in her ear."
" How do a blonde's brain cells die? Alone."
An Intelligent Twilight Fan, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy and Santa find $10 on the ground. Who gets it first?
No-one because none of them exist! This one made me laugh xD
The alternative name for Twilight: 108 year old virgin - xDxD
Surprisingly... there wasn't many Twilight hating jokes, they were all repeated on different sites I looked on, the Twi-Hard nerds probably tracked them down at destroyed them all... -_- Anyway, keep requesting and hope you enjoyed! :D
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