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    "I haven't received more than half of the assignments I gave to the class. You're not doing so well on any of your tests. You have a 38 percent in this class."

  No words came out of my mouth as my head hung low,my eyes glued to the white tiled floor. Guilt and disappointment churned in my stomach. I didn't feel the slightest bit humiliated about my mark. I was used to having such low marks. However, no matter how many times I fail or been informed I was failing, the guilt and disappointment in myself was always there, eating me alive.It became so strong that I started hating myself. I despised myself for being so stupid and for disappointing my parents and teachers.I've been told by teachers that there was no point in me being in school if I wasn't going to finish my homework and paying attention in class.

    "What's wrong?"

  That caught me off guard since it was the last thing I expected Mrs. Earon to say.The fact that she didn't sound the slightest bit disappointed seemed almost unbelievable to me. Wasn't she going to tell me to work harder?Or that If I kept this up, I would have to go to summer school?

    "What do you mean?" I asked, bringing myself to speak. I wasn't really used to talking to anyone except my family. I barely went got out of the house,seen or hung out with my friends since 8th grade. I moved from Pickering to Ajax since I was picked on too much for a few years. I spent freshmen year alone, sitting in the hallway. I had the occasional "hi" and "what's wrong?" from people who were either nice or had pity for me. I didn't bother to talk to anyone though.

  I knew if I became friends with one of them, I would depend on them and unload my baggage on them. That's why i haven't seen or spoke to my friends the past couple of years. Telling them how sad and depressed i was only wore them down. The fact that none of them could relate didn't help either. So i cut all ties with them.

    "I mean you always have your head down, you don't talk to anyone in the class. Some kids are trying to be your friend but you keep pushing them away. I'm really concerned about you,Noah. I know you're not acting this way because you're a "bad kid" or too lazy to get any work done. Something is troubling you. I'm not going to force you to tell me but I want to let you know that I'm here if you need to talk and I'm not going to to let you fail. Do you want to pass my class?"

    "Yes." I said in a whisper. I wanted to erase all the bad memories and negative thoughts I had so I could pass my classes, graduate, go to college and be successful in life.

    "That's all that matters. Just as long as you want pass your classes and be successful in life, that's all I ask."

  She gave me a small simple smile that had the power to make me smile, getting rid of the feeling of being worthless.

    "So what do you want me to do? Do you want me to give you an extension for the project that is due next week? You can worry about it after you're done your assignments and rewrite your tests. I will take late marks off for each assignment though. Fair enough?"

  My smile grew wider as I nodded my head. In the back of my mind there was a thought floating around my mind, saying i didn't deserve this chance but i pushed it away.

    "Yes! Thank you. How long do I get?"

    "I don't want to rush you or put any more pressure on you. It's November so you have about 2 months and a week until exams. Can you try to finish them when you come back from Christmas Break?"

  I nodded my head, unsure If I was cable of doing that all by myself but she was giving me this opportunity and I wasn't going to waste it. I'm not going to disappoint her! I'm going to finish all those assignments even if that meant sleepless nights.

    "Oh and you don't have to finish every assignment you missed, just enough so i can give you a 50. I suggest you do the ones that are worth the most marks.You will do all the tests though.Any questions?"

"Yes. Will i still be coming to class or do you want me to work in the library?"

    "Library. I feel that you'll be overwhelmed by me teaching something to the class while you're working on something else."


  I turned to leave but she spoke again,making me stop in my tracks.

    "One more thing. Is it alright if I get you a tutor?"

    "Tutor?" I repeated.

    "Yes. Just someone to help you get those assignments done. I have a son at home and I'm also busy teaching 3 classes so unfortunately I don't think i can help you. I was going to ask one of the staff to help you but I think it's best if a student here tutored you. I have someone in mind. He's a little older than you but I guarantee he's one of the best."

    "Can i think it over?"

    "Of course. Just give me your answer by Friday. You can leave now."

    "Okay. Thanks once again Mrs.Earon"

  Although I was overjoyed that Mrs.Earon understood and obviously didn't want me to be so hard on myself, these thoughts returned to my head, making me more determined to change myself.

  I can't imagine myself having a future but If I stay like this, i will never have one.

  There are people in this world suffering, going through worse than this. I need to stop being so weak.

  Although I don't feel like living, I have to so I won't hurt my mom....


Thanks for taking the time to read this! It'll get better as the story progresses~

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