Remembering Love

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So, this sort of falls in line with the last conversarant. It is something that I wanted my sons to know, and so since I have the ability still to move my hands and write down the thoughts that are in my head...I did. I wrote it at a time when I was very ill, not sure what was happening to me and if I would get better any time soon. Just a sort of preamble to this piece, I wanted them to know that they were loved, that they are loved and that this type of love perpetuates itself continually throughout their lives. If you show love to someone, it is there imprinted in their souls. Perhaps that seems a little melodramatic but I think that the taste of love, the taste of support hangs out in our periphery and allows us to keep going. It is the basis of hope, of all that makes us keep going. Wether or not we reach back and take it out and look at it in order to remember that we are worth it or if it just sort of solidifies in the marrow of our bones and keeps there making us stronger without us actually having to recall, I can't say. There are different types and forms of this encouragment. THe times when you sit around laughing with each other, your friends or family, groups of people or just one, those are what keep us from hating because we somehow remember tht there is good directed towards us, individually and that can't go away.

I point this out here becuase I want to maybe remind people to look for the excuses for the bad behaviors, the wrong choices that those around us make and that we, ourselves, make and that it isn't the end of the world becuae someone loves us despite those blips. I will love them endlessly. Even if it is jsut a little thread in there becaue I know them to be iinnocent, pure individuals who want to make people happy, who worry over others and want the lives of people to be better. I remember so many instances when my own heart might birst fro the love that these individuals showed, without knowing what they were doing. The times when I wanted to give him something or say some supplication for him and he stopped me, chubby little hand on mine, and said maybe we should just ask for safety for those people who can't be sure that they will wake up to somewhere safe in the morning. The time when there was a tiny little whisper in my ear when i was having a crappy day that told me I was his best friend, because he loved me so much. The times when you need a boost, it is there somewhere. I wanted to share with them so that they didn't have to look too far for my articulated words of love. I mean to make their lives such that they won't have to think too hard to see the love we have for them, the support they have here with us, but these words I wanted to give to them when they need it. As a security blanket if I don't make it much longer, or if they need something to give to thier own loved ones. So, that is the reason for this little piece here and I hope you enjoy as much as I did and do. I hope that you know that there is support, and I have tried to give mine in a positive way. Thank you for sharing with me, in turn I want to share with you.

You know that place between sleep and awake? That place where you still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you…That’s where I’ll be waiting - Tinkerbelle, Peter Pan

If I Can’t Be Here

I’ll be that dream

That’s right there,

At the tips of your fingers

Waiting, patiently, for you

To remember.

I’ll be there,

In that space that

Is not here,

Not there,

Between some borders

That sets us apart.

I may not be your reality.

I can settle for a dream,

Where love doesn’t fade

And wrinkles don’t happen

And hugs are between souls.

I’ll be right there

The instant your breathing

Steadies, calm comes

And we’ll be rational

In that irrational place.

I’ll sit and wait

Behind the veil of awake,

On the doorstep of dream

With open arms and smiling lips;

Loving heart.

I’ll be that dream

That waits for that time

When you need the most love

And the hottest tears –

When you need to remember love.

I’ll be that dream

That visits you

When you are in between

When you really need me to help:

You remember being loved.

Love,

Books1

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