25.1K 137 34

Okay guys, don't judge me for this; I don't mind the films too much, love the books, I'm also Team Jacob wooo. Anyway. Yeah, there are some good quotes in the books and yes admitedly the films, anyway: 

"But if you ever bring her back damaged again - and I don’t care whose fault it is; I don’t care if she merly trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head - if you return her to me in less that perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that mongrel?" - Edward, Eclipse, I did find this comment towards Jacob funny xD

“Fall down again, Bella?”
“No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face.” - I found this quite funny too, it goes differently in the film, I think Emmett actually says "Try to walk and chew gum at the same time again Bella? But the original was funny.

"I bit a pillow…maybe two." I put this one in, not because I thought it funny, but just because the whole scene was the most awkward thing in the entire world, and when he brakes the bed in the film... I was sat next to my mum when I watched that film... yes, it was as awkward as you can imagine.

“I don’t care who’s a vampire and who’s a werewolf. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too.” - I was so annoyed when they didn't put this into the film -_-

“Ugh.” I winced.
“What is it?” he asked anxiously…
“Needles.” I explained, looking away from the one in my hand…
“Afraid of a needle.” he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. “Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand…” -Bella & Edward

Edward: What did you expect? Coffins and dungeons and moats?
Bella: No, not the moats.
Edward: Not the moats.

Bella: Hey. Come to visit your truck?
Jacob: Hey! Looks good. Got that dent out.
Billy: Actually, we came to visit your flat-screen. First Mariners game of the season. Plus, Jacob here keeps bugging me about seeing you again.
Jacob: Great, Dad. Thanks.
Billy: Just keepin' it real, son. - The wonders of fatherly embarrasment xD

Bella: Death is peaceful - easy. Life is harder. - This is her best line in all four books, it holds a lot of meaning.

Billy Black: I'm down with the kids.
Charlie Swan: [sarcastically] Oh yeah dude, you're the bomb.   "Attention is never a good thing, as any other accident-prone klutz would agree. No one wants a spotlight when they’re likely to fall on their face." - Bella.  

Sorry this one is real short, but I got bored after a while looking for good ones, I'll add more later on, and I'm thinking about doing a twilight jokes page, just so I can meet the haters needs and the lovers needs haha, PLEASE request, if you don't request I dont post, my imagination isn't the best in the world people, haha :)

Awesome Quotes, Comebacks, and Insults!Read this story for FREE!