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 I had another photo shoot session with jc today and I didn't wanna come , but I didn't have a choice because I didn't have a good enough reason as to why I didn't wanna come , I couldn't tell my mom the truth about how I was feeling towards him because she'd fire him and I guess I don't want him out of my life just yet!  The whole jealousy thing was a total bust because he didn't seem to reach out to me once he saw that I was with Meredith , so I told Lia that I didn't wanna do it anymore , but I keep in contact with Meredith because she's just a fun person to be around.

I stood there as he sat on top of his car looking through his cameras while I just stood in the water trying to contemplate if I wanna drown myself or not , I just don't wanna be anywhere near him , not after what he did to me , I know that he has a girlfriend and she's allowing him to mess with someone else , but he said that I was the only one that he wanted and all of a sudden , he's going on a random trip with some female ? don't tell me that he's not trying to run game on me. 

 he looked up at me , smiling and staring at my new hair color , '' so , when did you go blonde ? ''. I ran my fingers through my wet hair and smirked because he actually noticed it ?  

'' Lia & Meredith thought that it would attract you.'' I admitted. I had no shame in lying , I knew why I did any of this shit. I was actually trying to look decent for him and besides , I think I look better as a blonde.

'' does lia always make your decisions ? '' he started walking towards me.

'' She helps me , she's all that I have.'' 

He cleared his throat as he took a few steps back . Oh fucking great , he doesn't even wanna be near me!


 '' are you ready for the photoshoot ? ''

 '' I guess.''


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