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XXXIX

"Babe, I'm really, really sorry," she sobbed.

Alyssa raised her face and kissed her softly.

"It's fine. I love you."

"I love you very much," she said, grateful that Alyssa forgave her easily.

But Alyssa was aloof around her for a few days after that.

-

They were buying groceries on the supermarket and she didn't expect they would be recognized. She saw the judgemental eyes of those people. Especially the repulsive look they were throwing at their clasped hands.

Usually, she wouldn't have cared about them but the heat on their relationship was not only affecting them but their families too. She let go of Alyssa's hand.

She didn't know Alyssa has been observing her. When she turned to Alyssa, Alyssa was already looking at her sadly.

"Just tell me when you're no longer proud of us."

Alyssa walked away from her and she realized just how dumb she was being.

She ran and hugged Alyssa from behind shortly before holding on to Alyssa's hand again tightly and never letting go.

"I'm proud of us," she said.

But the damage was already done.

-

She came home to her condo unit late that night but Alyssa wasn't there. She found that absolutely weird so she called Alyssa immediately.

"Babe, where are you?" she asked once Alyssa picked up the phone.

"In my condo," Alyssa answered coldly.

"I didn't know diyan tayo matutulog tonight," she said, baffled. "I'm just going to change tapos punta na ako diyan."

"No," Alyssa said firmly. "Since you decided to spend your rare day off with your friends, I also decided to spend some time on my own. I have a lot to think of."

She was taken aback. She didn't realize Alyssa felt that way towards her plans today.

Idiot. What plan? Wasn't that a spontaneous invite and you said yes without thinking of Alyssa?

Fuck. She was an idiot.

"Babe," she said apologetically.

"I need some time please. I'll see you tomorrow."

Alyssa ended the call. There were no I love yous exchanged. No good nights. No Babe. Alyssa hung up on her.

She texted Alyssa that she was going there because she felt like they were having a fight. But Alyssa asked to respect her decision about needing some time and space. When she tried calling, Alyssa's phone could not be reached anymore. Alyssa turned off her phone.

She wasn't able to sleep properly that night and she berated herself for not considering Alyssa's feelings and not prioritizing her.

Damn it! She was so fucking stupid!

-

That was two weeks ago.

Alyssa came by the next day and although Alyssa acted like there was no problem, Alyssa suddenly changed.

For the past two weeks, Alyssa had activities she was not aware of. Alyssa used to tell her her plans, where she was going, who she was going with, and what she was going to do. But since then, Alyssa only told her she had something to do and that she probably was coming home late.