Into the War || A Captain America Love Story

4

TORI

I've never seen Steve cry before now. He is one of those silent criers, one who only lets one tear run down his cheek and then moves on. I've seen the aftermath of his tears before, just red puffy eyes and a quavery voice. But, as I now know, when he's absolutely devastated he sobs. I found him in my designated room in the new Avengers HQ, sitting on the edge of the bed letting out shaky breaths. We both cried, clinging to each other. He sobbed hysterically, not able to breathe properly. I've only seen one other strong person break down that much before in my life—Tony.

It's what he was trying to make sure I remembered earlier with that cold glare he gave me when he was talking about that kid. I was exactly like him—high GPA, the best scholarship to Stanford, and a great life at the end of the road I was on. Then I went down a dark path on the side of that road when I decided to join SHIELD, following in Peggy's footsteps. I was going to do exactly what he wanted for my bright future, and I blew it.

Steve and I have been in London for a while now for Peggy's funeral. He walks down the aisle with her casket on his shoulder, the Union Jack draped across it and white flowers on the top. Children sing and people sniffle, but I just feel dead inside after every horrible thing that has just piled up inside me. I can tell that he does too because he hasn't said a word for at least an hour. I sit on a bench, looking down at my lap.

Steve doesn't know my true connection with Peggy. She took care of me as a child when my parents died and Tony was working. But most importantly, she is the one who encouraged me to join SHIELD, and Peggy knew best what was good for me at the time. And now she's gone.

"I would now invite Miss Sharon Carter up to say a few words," the priest announces as Steve takes a seat next to Sam and me on the inside of the aisle. I clench my jaw. I loved Peggy like a grandmother, but I didn't love Sharon like a cousin. It's actually quite the opposite, and the feeling has been mutual since we were four. It doesn't help that that deep hatred for each other grew at the SHIELD recruiting camp.

Sharon takes a deep breath at the podium. I see her glance at me for a quick moment, then immediately looks in the opposite direction, and I do the same. "Margaret Carter was known to most a founder of SHIELD, but I just knew her as Aunt Peggy." That little brat is trying to rub it in my face. "She had a photograph in her office—Aunt Peggy standing next to JFK."

I scoff. I remember that picture, clear as day, when she took me inside SHIELD HQ for the first time. I asked her again and again how she managed to get that lucky, but she just told me that I would be luckier. Now the irony of having her little fling as my boyfriend pretty much sums up the only luck that I've received over the years.

"As a kid, that was pretty cool," Sharon says. Yeah, it was. "But it was a lot to live up to, which is why I never told anyone that we were related."

Oh sweetie, you have no idea. Your father being Howard Stark and your brother being Tony Stark, I have a bigger legacy than you would ever get close to receiving in a thousand lifetimes. Talk about living up to a legacy...

"I asked her once how she managed to master diplomacy and espionage in a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed in either," Sharon continues. "She said compromise when you can. Where you can't, don't...even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say 'no, you move.'"

She's talking about the document, I'm sure of it. I've thought long and hard about it, but I still don't know whether or not to go on Steve's side or Tony's. I believe things on both sides, but I disagree with some things too. And I know that I don't want to see anymore people hurt. If I had a family member, let's say my brother, out and a stubborn group dropped a building on him, I would despise them until my dying day. But if I could fight and save people from things the government wouldn't be able to comprehend. I would immediately take that and the blame with whatever comes after it. Besides, politicians are the people who make wars anyway.

That's why I'm not signing.

•••

I stand next to Steve in the empty church, smoothing out my black dress. He sighs, shoving his hands further down his pockets. He definitely doesn't want to be here, but he wants to be with Peggy. I feel the same, but I had a completely different relationship with her than Steve did. We both stand silently, not having a word to say to each other. Or so I thought.

"When I came out of the ice, I thought that everyone I had known was gone," Steve whispers, leaning against a bench. And there it is, the start of a dramatic moment from Steven Grant Rogers. "I found out that she was alive, and I was just lucky to have her."

"And she had you back too," I reply, giving him a small smile.

"After seventy years," he adds.

"And even in your almost ninety-eight years of life, you still can't tie a neck tie correctly," I joke, flipping Steve's black tie around. He lets out a distant laugh, his cheeks going a little red from embarrassment. "Guess that's what happens when you don't let me do it."

Footsteps erupt from the other end of the church. I glance over, eye to eye with Natasha. I give another small grin, nodding in welcome.

Steve sighs, looking up as well. "Who else signed besides you?"

"Tony, Rhodey, Vision," Natasha says, giving him a small nod.

"Clint?" he asks.

"Says he's retiring," she answers.

"Well now he has three little monsters running around the house. I would assume he'd take at least one small break," I pipe up.

They both smile a little bit.

"Wanda?" I ask her.

"TBD," she says. "I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the accords. There's plenty of room on the jet for you two."

Steve sighs, clenching his jaw in frustration. I just press my thumb into my palm, trying to keep my mouth shut.

"Just because it's the path of the least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path," Natasha tells him. He glances at me. I'm not going to tell him to change his mind, and I'm surely not going to attempt to persuade him into doing so because I believe both things. He's more than a grown man that can handle himself and, as he said, take responsibility for his actions. I'm not going to baby him. "Staying together is more important than how we stay together."

"What are we giving up to do it?" Steve asks. Natasha sighs. He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Nat. I can't sign it."

"And I don't want to have corrupt, small minded people telling me what I can and can't do even though it's my right as a human being to have the right to choose," I tell her. "I'm so sorry that we both can't sign it, Natasha. But you're smart enough to know why."

"Yeah, I am," she says.

"Well then what are you doing here?"

"I didn't want either of you to feel alone," Natasha says. "Remember, Tori, I was assigned to kill you a while back. I know a lot more about you than I should."

I scoff, but nod my head in agreement. "Yeah, that's a little more than true."

"Come here, you two," Natasha says, her arms outstretched to both of us. I gratefully wrap my arms around her, and I feel Steve engulf both of us in one mass of an embrace of people with completely different opinions.

Even if we don't agree on something, that doesn't mean that we can't stay together emotionally.