"The devil is real. And he's not a little red man with horns and a tail. He can be beautiful. Because he's a fallen angel, and he used to be God's favourite."
Nothing is ever the same after someone dies. Were Shane and I friends when we knew nothing about one another? Did I care for him because of how 'nice' he was to me while I was kidnapped? No matter how I try to rationalize it it still feels as if I've been hit by a truck. His body didn't fight, he didn't fight, he promised he would stay, he said he never breaks his promise.
He's a fucking liar.
Tears stung my eyes but for the life of me they wouldn't fall, they blinded me and made my throat ache, I wanted to scream at him for lying and leaving me. I wanted to hit him with all my might but his face made it difficult, he looked peaceful, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, those bastards had succeeded. I held onto his hand while the flatline continued.
I was frozen.
So when the doctors shouted for the nurse to bring in the defibrillator, I didn't move. When a nurse guided me away from the scene in front of me my eyes never left his face, his smirk still present, my heart ached and my throat burned.
When the doctor came out with a sullen look on his face and pronounced him dead I didn't move, I didn't blink and I didn't breathe, it all came falling on top of me in an instant, I wailed for my fallen friend. I clutched at my heart as I fell to the floor hard.
I was helped up and into a chair in the hallway and given some water to drink. Which I took gratefully. I was suddenly becoming annoyed by there buzzing presence. So, I left. I went back into the room to say my final goodbyes.
"Am I allowed to cry now?" I asked as my tears finally fall. I felt my anger rise.
"You're a liar! You promised! You said you never break your promises but here you are; breaking your stupid fucking promise!" I didn't what to do so I just grabbed a pillow from the next bed and hit him with it.
"I'm so sorry." I cried, letting the pillow fall from my grasp. His cheek was still warm when I hugged him, I prayed desperately for his arms to reach around and hug me back but it never happened. He had no family members to call and there was no fucking way I was going leave him here to be some test subject.
"I want him to be taken to the Gannon funeral home." It will be just me and him, I don't want anyone with their false empathy and fake tears around me, not that there is anyone to come anyway. The doctors nod their head curtly and I leave. I don't need to be around to see them taking him to some cold morgue.
"Valerie where ar-" Harry started angrily.
"He's dead Harry." I cried as I walked briskly through the crowd of Manhattan, it has to be about four in the morning what are people doing out? Then again they could ask me the same question.
"Oh, Val, baby. Where are you?"
"I just want to be alone right now." I don't want to be alone but I don't want to be with anyone either.
"Are you crazy? Its 4:30 in the morning, it's cold it's dark and I don't want anything happening to you." I understand his concern but I need time by myself, so, I hang up. I walk fast and far. I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes wiping away the tears. I eventually turned up to a large willow tree on the outskirts of an empty park.
I sat underneath that tree till the sun came up.
I felt numb all over I hadn't realized I had been crying until the salty droplets fell into the curve of my lips, I brushed them away as I walked to the nearest taxi, I told the driver where I was going and I sat back until we arrived, I paid and exited the cab. The lobby was empty with the exception of the hotel staff, I'm surprised no one has gotten wind of Harry staying here yet.
I rode up to the fifteenth floor, exited when it was time and went to the room, Harry was pacing the floor saying something I couldn't completely understand something along the lines of 'are you crazy?' and 'you could've been hurt' I wouldn't have felt it anyway.
I unzipped my boots, I took off my scarf and coat and hung them up, I walked past Harry and shimmied out of my pants in the bathroom, I stripped out of everything and turned on the shower to as hot as I could handle. I stood there for God knows how long but I didn't care, it brought some feeling back to my body.
Where do you go when you die? Where did Shane go? Is he up there on some fluffy cloud surrounded by angels and sipping a beer? I'd like to imagine that's what the bastard is doing. I hope the beers are cold and I hope he's fucking happy! I started crying again but not out of sadness out of anger, I was fucking pissed.
"Liar!" I shouted over the water.
"Fucking liar!" I cried banging my fist on the shower wall, I didn't care who heard me, that goes for Harry as well. He tried to tell Shane not to talk to me out of jealousy, I never saw Shane like that, more as a best friend.
I eventually got out of the shower when my fingers passed prune-y. I dried off and stepped into my pyjamas.
"How are you feeling?" Harry asked as he closed the door after tipping the room service guy.
"Okay I guess." I say shrugging my shoulders.
"I told him he could leave he could've just disappeared and now he's going to be laying on some fucking metal table in a cold room." My vocabulary has become quite colourful no thanks to Shane.
"I didn't even know his last name." I said, but it was more to myself. I didn't exactly have a ordinary meeting with him.
"I'm sorry babe, I am." He opens his arms for me and I gladly accept the embrace. He squeezes me tightly for a while and just for a moment I'm fine, my body isn't numb and my mind is clear, but only for a moment then it's gone. Just like Shane.
I shouldn't have written this chapter but I had to. I owed it to myself as a way of getting over my father passing so I was dealing with that. Thats why it was late. I didn't want to to get rid of Shane but honestly he wasn't going to come back into the story anyway and if he did he would've died later on. I'm rambling! I love all the support and comments and votes I got throughout the story!
P.S Longer chapter coming tomorrow or the day after you can yell at me if I don't do it.
P.P.S HAPPPYYYY NEW YEAARRRRR Drink responsibly!