Quicksand - AnKhi OS

Quicksand

This CANNOT be happening to him! It so cannot!

Oh! But it is! It so is.

He can't seem to understand since when did his life turn into a joke. A BIG FAT HUMORLESS JOKE! But it has. It most definitely has.

Come to think of it, he can, he so can. It was the moment he was provoked by Mrs. JaiSingh, when she had challenged him. He had no other option. He was put on a spot, in front of the media no less and when it comes down to it; there are two things that Anshuman Rathore simply cannot accept, cannot tolerate – backing out of a challenge & being called a fraud, a liar. And so he had went ahead and blasted his mouth off when he had said he would bring his first wife back with him, if she so wanted.

Though, that was never what he wanted.  Nor had it occurred to him what exactly was it that he was walking into and what would be its repercussions.

But he is a Rathore. And if there is one thing he knows better than his own name and his business, it is that Rathores are men of their words. So he had set off to fulfill his.

He went to Chittorgarh, in search of his first wife. A wife he did not want in the first place, a wife he wanted to get rid of.  Paakhi.

A wife, he ended up bringing with him into his home, in his life.

And now here he is! And he sure feels as if he is sinking. He just can't catch a break around here, can he? 

He has never ever, EVER in his life met a challenge and not accepted it. Never backed out on it and never lost any either.

But it seems his winning streak is finally running out on him. He is losing his touch. Oh man how is this happening to him and WHY? This girl seems to be his undoing. The bane of his existence.  His curse.

Yes! Yes that's what exactly she was. She is. Now he knows what poor Sisyphus must be going through. He knows now what Prometheus must have felt, when every time his liver was being eaten out by that eagle.

He is always, so close. Oh so close. But it always is a mirage, an illusion he fancies himself with, deludes him into.

For that boulder always rolls down and he has to start pushing it up all over again. His rekindled resolve is crumbled to pieces, time and again.

She was, is his Sisyphean task.  Getting her to walk out on him, his life, his home, even his stubborn, spoilt brat of a son cannot be labeled as anything else. And it simply is not happening. 

How is she so patient, so infinitely kind, so forgiving, so.... so good is beyond him.  He has never met anyone like her. So giving, so selfless, so strong, and so full of life and humor. So fascinating, maddening and mesmerizing all at once.

All of which makes it so much INFURIATING.

He is mad at her all the time but can't show it. He has to be the good guy after all. He has to make it seem like she is the one deserting him. That he is the innocent one, the victim, the one left behind, abandoned, made lonely after all his image, his reputation was, is at stake.

And so he is constantly mad at himself.

Mad because she makes it so much difficult to stay mad at her for anything she does, except staying in his life.

He has loathed hypocrites all his life. His name, fame and fortune have made it a hazard he has to endure. And today that's what exactly he has become. A hypocrite. A bloody lying hypocrite who can't ask his wife to leave him because he doesn't want to stay married to her. Because he had it all sorted out in his head.