Can't Say - Jung Hoseok

part thirty - heal

jimin had his back against the hospital bed, his shoulders still hurting from the actions he had just committed. of course he knew what he did was wrong, but it was all in the spur of the moment and it was too late to go all back at this point. the things he did to hoseok was something he can't erase, even if he had tried to repress it, the years of hatred and sorrow would still consume him.

his head turned and looked above him onto the bland white ceiling, his eyes having no life in them as they were dulled out. his natural brown eyes looked dead and it were as if he were just done with the world.

jimin's lip stopped bleeding but it left a burgundy cut on his plump lips, a small scratch could be found on the top of his cheek bone just beneath his eye. although he had hospital clothes on, his shoulders were bruised badly so moving his arms would be too much pressure for his small stature.

the only evident thing besides his face and body were his small hands. each knuckle had tiny lines of dried up scars on them, some of his nails had been scratched by the hard concrete stairs.

although he knew that it were simple stairs, he knew the material it was made of could've been really fatal. the thought of his head possibly bashing open made him nauseous.

but the one question that had been stuck in his head the whole time was, why on earth did he save hoseok from the fall?

or atleast attempted to.

that thought hadn't left his mind during the whole time it happened. maybe it was on impulse? maybe when he saw you and saw how scared you were, he wanted to be the hero of your story for once.

despite the fact that jimin had done so many terrible things to hoseok, despite losing his best friend jungkook, and despite already knowing that you weren't going to love him, all the times he spent with you as a couple were enough to make him feel happy since he was so in love with you.

he just simply longed to feel loved by you, even if it was for a short time being.

jimin remembered those times where he would catch you staring at him in class, those times where you two would cuddle and talk about things, and not to mention the very day where you agreed to be his and shared a passionate kiss.

jimin snickered to himself as he stared down at his own hands, "those lips weren't mine to kiss.."

he felt his hot and heavy tears dripping from his soulless eyes, his breath hitching as he tried to stop crying. "because i had stolen them."

jimin ended up crying silently on the hospital bed, of course he was torn between loving you forever and trying his hardest to get you, or drop everything and lose you to hoseok. the decision was his, but since he told jungkook of him having no morals, would he really make the right choice?

he felt himself breaking down, and he hated every second of it, because during this whole he was crying, he knew it was because his conscious was tired of all those lies and plans he made.

it was if he was crying for hoseok's forgiveness.

a sudden knock came from his side and jimin immediately turned his head towards the door. jungkook was standing next to the open door, leaning on the side as he had knocked on the perimeters of it. jimin gulped and wiped his stuffy nose as he made eye contact with the deadpanned looking friend.

"j-jungkook," jimin sniffled.

jungkook wanted so very badly to yell at him and tell him how horrible he was, but seeing jimin at a state like that shocked him. he didn't think he would be crying nor looked the slightest bit regretful. he knows the actions jimin caused were unfair, but he knows his best friend like the back of his hand.