CHAPTER 35

Claire's point of view

My whole body caves, as I feel it weaken, slumping down on the couch. I stare at the text for a few seconds before I slowly fall back to reality. Niall looks at me with wide eyes, and I have to ignore his question.

"Harry... No one has heard from him since he came here," I exhale, as my worry grows. What happened to him?

Niall stays silent, glancing over at me. He's waiting for me to make a move. Do something. But I stay completely still.

Has anyone checked his house? Actually tried to make contact with him? Is anyone else freaking out about this like i am?

He didn't call or text me in the past couple of days, but I figured he was giving me the space I needed. My mind instantly leaps to the worst scenario, and i can't go another second without looking for him. I shoot out of the couch, running to the hallway. Niall goes after me, pulling my hand.

"He's probably fine Claire, just stay here and wait for someone to check on him," he suggests, holding me tightly around my arm. I look into his blue eyes, knowing i can't stay here.

"I can't go another second with "probably" Niall," I say, pulling my arm away from him.

"I have to see if he's okay," I shake my head, with my head rushed with emotions I can't control.

"Guess that answers my question," he utters, looking down at the ground before him. I stop for a second to look at him, and it feels like a start my chest seeing him upset. I know I have to give him an answer. He deserves an answer. But even though i've had days to figure it out, I don't know if i can give up on Harry. Each time i think about telling him I can't be with him, I just imagine him heartbroken and I can't stand it.

The same goes for Niall. I can't look him in he eye and tell him I don't want to be with him. I'm still unsure if i do.

"I know you want an answer. And I want to give you one," i say, placing my hand on his cheek. He looks up at me, and i realize I can't keep this up much longer.

"But Harry might be in trouble, and i have to leave." I retract my hand, and he closes his eyes as walk out the door. I hear him release an hurt, angered groan when the door closes. I ignore the overwhelming of guilt to call a cab. It arrives shortly after, and I yell the address as I try to call Harry over and over again with no response.

What could have happened to him? Last time I saw him he was limpingly drunk, and out of his mind with anger. I hate to think what he could have done in that state of mind.

"For god's sake, could you drive like, twice this speed?" I nudge the driver, realizing how slow we are going. For all i know, it's important that i get there as soon as possible.

But i don't even know if he's there, he could be anywhere. But it seems like a reasonable place to start. Where did he go after he came to Niall's? Did he go back home? Did he go out? He was so drunk...

We drive into the neighborhood and I lean against the window. I could never forgive myself if something happened to him. We arrive and I throw money on the ground of the car and run towards his house. I get to the door, but it's locked. I ring the doorbell a few times before deciding to go around and get into the house somewhere else. I find the back door, and to my relief, it's not locked. I run upstairs to the living room.

"Harry? Harry!" I shout into the empty space, but with no response. I panic as i start to search the rooms, and I can't find him.

I reach the final room, his bedroom, and my heart falls to the floor when i see his lifeless body on the bed.

"Harry!" I scream, covering my mouth with my palm, rushing over to him. He lays with his back facing up, so I turn him around, and I notice the reeking smell of alcohol.

I take notice to the multiple empty bottles of whisky laying around the room, as I grab his shoulder, shaking him to wake him up. He doesn't move at all, and panic consumes me as I slap his face, which is as pale as i've ever seen it. I start to hear muffled whispers of my name, and I see him trying to move his lips. I hyperventilate as I try to bring him back to consciousness.

"Harry! Yes, I'm here Harry!" I cry out, pulling his upper body up, holding him there in a hug. I feel the intense desperation course through my body, and I have to close my eyes and take a deep breath to keep myself from losing consciousness myself.

"Claire," I hear, his throat dry and his voice weak.

I don't know what to do. I hear him breathe unsteadily up against my ear, and I back away to look him in the eyes.

His green eyes waver, unable to focus on me and my mind scatters when he closes his eyes again, losing consciousness.

"No, Harry!" i pant with frustration. I get an idea and i drag him into the bathroom, and stick two fingers down his throat. I lean his head over the toilet and he soon throws up what seems to be nothing but whiskey. He could have alcohol poisoning. I have to hold his head up, as he throws up the rest.

"Oh god..." I exhale, choking back tears. He can't be doing this just because of me, right? There must be something else going on. He falls back on the bathroom floor, now breathing steadily. I run out and get a glass of water, which he consumes with one swallow. I get more, and lean him against the wall. He drinks half of it, then sets it down. He exhales heavily, his lips gaining some color as he closes his eyes again and rests his whole body. Unsure of what to do, I call Louis.

"I found him! H-He's completely- i mean he was drinking, a-and i unconscious, but then he threw up and-" I quiver when he picks up.

"C-Claire! Slow down, what is going on?" he says calmly, making me take a breath before explaining.

"He was drinking, a lot, and when i found he was practically unconscious. He threw up and I gave him water, and now he's in the bathroom, resting against the wall." I run my hands through my hair, tucking it behind my ears.

"Okay, Claire, is he conscious? If he is, get him in bed," he orders, and I get down on my knees beside Harry.

"Harry? Hey, please say something" I gently say, stroking his cheek with palm. He opens his eyes for a moment, moaning something before closing them again.

"He's conscious, but what if he has alcohol poisoning or something?" I say with obvious fear in my voice.

"If he's responding, you should just get him to rest, he probably just drank too much."

I lift him up, and I put his around my shoulder, making him lean on me as i walk him to the bed. I unbutton his shirt, as he buries his face into the pillow. I slide his pants off, along with his socks and cover his body with the duvet. He turns to his side, and I turn away.

"He's in bed, what do i do now?" I desperately seek advice, willing to do anything for Harry to feel better.

"You wait, Claire, theres nothing else you can do but make sure he has water and food if he needs," Louis explains, as I let a tear escape, looking at Harry. I thank Louis, and hang up.

I sit down next to Harry, watching him sleep. Just this incident makes me realize how much i fear losing Harry. I would be inconsolable without him. I have known him for less than a month, and still I feel like i wouldn't be me without him. Just seeing him resting and at peace, makes my whole body warm. God... I love him.

"I still love you," I say, remembering what he said when he left Niall's a few days ago.

I thought he was sleeping, but just after I say it, he reaches his hand out to me, and I grab it, squeezing it tightly. My eyes travel from his face, further down, where I see something I didn't notice before.

3 or 4 hickeys spread across the base of his neck.


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