A Christmas Nightingale

Can't Sleep Tonight, Wide Awake and So Confused

Can't Sleep Tonight, Wide Awake and So Confused

Noel's POV

Demi yawned. "Noel, do you wanna come sleep with me tonight?", she asked.

Demi got up from the couch we were both sitting on. She was wearing a onesie, which she called her "onesie-funsie". It was so like her to wear such PJ's to bed. Haha.

"No thanks. I wanna keep an eye on the dog. In case it needs anything", I said, scratching it behind its ears.

"Ok. Good night, Noel"

"Night, Demi", I said tucking myself in the blanket and pillow Demi let me borrow while I'm here. I don't wanna be a bother to her. Besides this means I get to be with the dog more.

Demi flipped the lights off and made her way to her room to sleep.

Today, I've messed up with not trying to cut myself, so I TRIED to make it up to Demi by holding my food done. Even if I haven't thrown up all day, it's still so hard. I don't know how Demi copes with her eating disorder.

To distract my thoughts, I picked up the puppy from beside the couch and put it on my chest while I laid back down.

I wish Demi could keep it, so I could come over whenever to see it, but she said she wants to wait till it finds its owner first. She said she posted a pic of the Maltese to see if anyone on Twitter recognized it.

Suddenly I felt the dog wiggling so I put the dog back down onto the living room floor and it made its way, in a limp to the kitchen, supposedly to eat.

The dog came back into the room and went to sleep on its own bed.

A few hours later, I couldn't fall asleep. Surprise, surprise.

I thought of the amount of food I ate. I knew I shouldn't have, but I let the voices make its way into my head again today.

"Now that Demi's not here to comfort you, listen to me. You know you shouldn't have eaten all that today, right? It was probably best you didn't sleep in her room. You'd obviously take too much room and hog all the sheets, because of your fatness. You don't deserve to live. You are nothing but fat, fat, FAT."

I placed my hands over my face as tears started pooling out of my eyes. 'You're probably right', I thought. I don't know why Demi even let me stay with her after this morning. I just get in the way of things. I really am worthless.

As if in trance, I got up and made my way to the bathroom upstairs, closed the door and started searching for a razor; anything that I could use to cut myself. Soon I found a razor from underneath her cabinet.

I knew Demi would check my arms for cuts, so I tried my stomach. Ugh, I hate looking at it.

Then I heard Demi's voice outside the door.

"Noel, I heard you going through my cupboard? Are you doing anything to yourself? Please tell you're not…"

In shock, I dropped the blade onto the tile floor. Even in the dead silence, I knew Demi heard it.

Oh my God! Over 1000 reads, guys! That's amazing! Thank you so much.

If you haven't noticed, I have updated my profile saying I now accept read requests as long as its one of the genres listed.

Hope you guys like this chapter. I have written a few POV's in the last few days so I will split them up, today.

Also I have been looking at some other books and noticed that my paragraphs are shorter than other authors and I feel like I don't put enough quotations in my fan fic.

What do you guys think?

Also,

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