14 0 0

I drove, with no destination. I turnt my phone off and just drove. I had a tight grip on the steering wheel with A Day To Remember on blast. 

I hate Amber. I hate everything about her. Her hair. The way she laughs. Her stupid cinnomon perfume. Her ugly teeth. I hate the way she smiles. I hate the way she crosses her legs when she sits. I hate the way she's so beautiful. I hate the way she makes you fall in love, so easily. I hate how she makes you think of her. 

I just hate Amber Macy McFadden. 

I heard a faint beeping sound in the car. I looked around and say that my gas tank is almost empty. I sigh then pray my car can make it to a gas station. I finally find one after my car sent me another warning. 

"We'll almost there car. Don't worry" 

I pull up to a pump and brake the car. I get out and walk over to the station to pay for my gas and maybe buy some snacks. It was getting darker and i think it was around 5 or 6p.m. I walk around and get a bag of hot fries and a Green Tea Arizona. I walk over to the clerk and hand him my food and money for gas also. He doesn't make eye contact, or speaks a word as he hands me my change. I walk out and got to my car. I unlock it and put my snacks in then i put gas in the car. I lean against the car and wait til its full. When it is, i put the pump thing back and im on my way. 

I drive and drive and drive. Then i realize that i'm going out of San Diego. I turn around then drive back home. 

I reach my apartment building and grab my chips and tea out of the car. i lock the car and walk in. I go up to my room and i was so happy to be there. I turn on the nearest light and throw my car keys on the kitchen counter, along with my food. I lean over the counter tops and run my fingers through my hair, slowly. Wondering, what to do with myself. 

I decided to go to the drug store after blocks away. I drive over and buy one 6-pack of beer. 

"Havin' a party?" the cashier asks me. 

I nodded, simply because i don't want him to look at me crazy. 

"Sure late for a party. Don'tcha think?" he gives me a friendly smile as he calculates my change. 

I force a laugh. "Yeah. Uh, i was suppose to get it earlier. but it slipped my mind."

"Busy day?" 

I nod. 

He give me my change and gives me the beers. 

"Have a lovely night" he calls as i walk off. 

"Yeah. Uh, you too" I wave off. 

I drive home fast, eagar to open a beer and numb this shitty feeling. 

I got done with two beers and i'm leaned over the counter with anoother in my hand, half empty. I can feel the alcohol take affect. I'm getting dizzy and have blurred vision. I take the rest of the beers into the bedroom with me and i sit on the bed. I finish my beer and drop it on the floor. I grab another beer from the case that lays on  the floor. I open it and start chugging it. I almost finish the whole thing in less than 2 minutes. I sit up straight on the edge of my bed, rocking. I can barely see, the rooms spinning, and my head feeels terrible. I try to take my laast sip of my 4th bottle and throw that one at the wall, it hit the bottom of the wall and broke. I smile. Feeling, abit better. I pick up another empty bottle then chuck it at the wall. It shatters and i laugh. I stumble back, then forward. I look around for another bottle, then as i bend over to grab it, i hit my head and it all goes black. 

Show Me The Way to Surrender My HeartWhere stories live. Discover now