Chapter 38

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Vic's POV

I lay on the football field staring up at the bright blue sky. It kind of reminds me of the blue in Kellin's eyes. At that thought, I bring the joint that I had stolen from Mike, up to my lips. I take a draw, feeling the drug fill my lungs before I exhale.

I feel someone kick my leg but I don't care. I just inhale more of the weed.

"Asshole, get up." It's Oli.

I just groan and shake my head.

"Get up. We need to talk." He says sounding really pissed.

I sigh and stand up. The world spins and I grab the tree to steady myself. I look up and Oli and Tay are standing there, both looking pissed off.

"Whatever petty bullshit you have against Kellin, get over it. Matty says that he's in bad shape and it's your fucking fault!" Oli snaps and I roll my eyes.

"Why doesn't Matty just kiss him better?" I mutter rolling my eyes.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Tay spits from behind him.

My stomach clenches and I drop the joint before putting it out with my shoe. I lean against the tree and put my face in my hands.

"I-I don't know." I whine.

"Fix this." Oli spits before storming off but Tay doesn't follow.

She stays and gives me a soft look.

"What's going on in your head? You're a good guy Vic, I know that. You're not yourself. You beat up Matty, you're getting high; this isn't you." Tay murmurs and she's right, this isn't me.

"It feels like I'm torn in half." I mumble.

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"I feel like there's a mental war going on inside my head. Part of me wants to just forget about all this and go back to Kellin but the other part of me wants to stay as far away as possible." I explain, my thoughts just spilling out of my mouth.

"Why do you want to stay away?" Tay asks confused.

"I don't want to get hurt." I swallow. "It might have just been a kiss this time but something worse could happen. I don't want to get hurt." I explain.

I don't know why I'm being so honest. Maybe it's the weed.

"Vic, Kellin would never purposely hurt you, ever. You should know that." Tay explains.

"I do! I do know that. I just can't shake the thought of 'what if'." I groan.

Tay sighs and gives me a sad smile.

"And here I was thinking that Kellin's trust issues were bad." Tay chuckles softly.

I frown and fall back down onto the grass.

"I just don't know what to do." I sigh, putting my face into my hands.

"You'll figure it out." Tay says confidently. "Just don't take too long. Kellin's falling apart without you. He needs you Vic's and obviously you need him too."

She then walks off leaving me with an aching feeling in my chest. My poor baby boy needs me.


Kellin's POV

Three weeks and I'm still checking my phone for calls and texts from Vic. There's none. Not a single one. He's given up on me. I'm not surprised. I would have given up on me too.

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