Open Up (OHSHC)

Chapter 47: Taking Turns

I was tired. Sick and tired of it. I didn't want anymore of this. Why would I need to start something? It only going to make it worse. I shook it off.

"N-nevermind.."

Finn turned to me with a sad expression. "No tell me. What happened?"

From that very moment I knew it wasn't him. He wouldn't do anything caddy like this. He was too kind. Finn was amazingly perfect.

I could already feel my face start to swell with tears. "I'm so lonely." I cried.

He pulled me into his chest. Right in front of everyone. I didn't want everyone to see me cry. This was horrible.

"Can you take me home?" Finn nodded as he walked me out the door.

We were halfway down the hallway when I hear footsteps closing in on us.

"Wait!" Hikaru stopped us. He tried catching his breath when we turned around. "I'll take her home."

Finn looked at me for reassurance. I nodded softly, giving him the 'ok' to go.

~

"You ok?" Hikaru asked when were in the solitudes of his car.

I wiped my tears off with my sleeves. "Not really, this whole week has been a disaster!" I moaned.

His hand was dangerously close to my thigh. I saw him look down at his hands a few times. As if he was scared how I would reach if he touched me. In all honestly, I wanted to curl up in his lap while he petted my hair. Telling me everything was going to be ok. That it was all a dream and I would wake up.

I would wake up to the begging of sophomore year again. Not crying myself to sleep every night scared someone else was going to turn on me.

Hikaru and the Club were both inconsistent. We had our moments. The only constant in my life right then was Finn. How I longed for Hikaru to be there as well. But sadly he never would. He wasn't Finn, and Finn wasn't Hikaru. I couldn't put expectations for either if them. An that's what I was doing.

I believed so while heartedly that Finn was always going to be there. No, correction, I WANTED to believe he would always be there. But I knew better than that. He couldn't always be there for that poor little rich girl that couldn't get what she wanted.

"Not everything in life is rainbows and unicorns." I could hear myself say.

Because it was true. Not everything you wanted would turn out the way you had hoped. Wishing, Dreaming, Hoping... It's all the same. Just different words.

"What happened?" Hikaru asked finally placing his hand on my thigh.

It was nice to feel his touch. As open as I was to everyone I felt so lonely. Like I wasn't a part of anyone's life. Like I was no big deal. I wanted that constant feeling of desire, of need. A purpose to be alive.

"Nothing." As open as I was, I was so reserved. If anyone got in they wouldn't like what they saw and leave.

My mind was the work of dark magic. A perfectly imperfect human, with flaws and insecurities like the rest of you. But that is what makes us human. I just hadn't come to realize that yet. That I- in fact- was needed. It would only take me a few chapters to realize it.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, you want to know if they get back together, right? How she realizes he was so right for her all along. Well my dear that's not going to happen. Shocker, yes? Oh but don't close this story and pout because you didn't let me finish...

She didn't need him. He needed her. Oh yes, he needed her. We just haven't seen it yet.

"Tell me.." He asked pushing my hair out of my face.

He rubbed his index ringer and thumb together after they pulled out of my hair. Hikaru gave me a sideways glance as to why my hair felt like that.

I sniffled connecting our eyes. "Someone poured liquid strawberries on me.." My story made me give out a sad laugh. The actual thought of someone pouring liquid strawberries on someone came to me as funny. But the effect wasn't.

"Who?!" His eyes widened. His cold grip tighten around my thigh.

I shook my head. "I don't know.." I had suspicions, but that wouldn't be much help.

Hikaru's yellow eyes were filled with such sadness. So hurt and damaged.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

At times like these when we breakdown we fail to wonder how the people around us feel. We fail to ask the simplest of questions in the toughest of situations. Are YOU ok?

He looked stunned. His face pulled back a little if the words had slapped him in the face just then. The recoil made him squint.

"Why are you asking me, you're the one crying.." He reminded me.

"But are you? Are you ok, Hikaru?" Saying his name felt like honey. Sweet, sweet honey.

He needed someone to be there to ask him the questions now and then. He needed me- and I just didn't know it.