Poems: Yeah this cover looks so deep and thoughtful, right?

Once Upon A Time...

Here is where I ruin your childhood dreams with horrifying truths in equally horrifying rhymes (probably more so)...

There once was a princess we know
With her skin as white as snow
She'd tasted bad food
Which made her snooze
And a prince bought her body to-go

There once was a princess who slept
In a hundred year slumber she was kept
A prince found her hot
Did it right on the spot
Now two twins she'd have to accept

There was once a mermaid who wished
For a life above the fish
She made her choice
And sold her voice
And with human legs, she perished

There was once a girl with long hair
Her name with a lettuce she shared
Her boyfriend was blind
'Till she cried in his eyes
And the witch? Well, nobody cared.

There once was a girl and a boy
They were friends, when he got annoyed
He went with the snow queen
She went on her journey
The ship didn't sail, but enjoy...

There once was a woman of labor
Whose heart earned the prince's favor
They used her shoe
"You've got the wrong dudes!"
Only after blood did they obtain her

There once was a girl in a hood
She wore red and a basket of goods
A wolf ate her grandma
Then dressed as this nana
He loved kids more than he should

There once was a boy who climbed
Great wealth and riches, did he find
He stole in defiance
And angered a giant
So he murdered him just to survive

There once was a stupid man
Who trespassed on a beast's land
He gave him his daughter
Thinking she would be slaughtered
But nope, it was part of the plan

There once was a royal snob
Who met with a royal frog
He gave her help
She threw him and yelled
'Till he turned into a heartthrob

So these were the stupid limericks I thought of for fairy tales. I grew up with Disney and the Grimm fairytales among others (they were quite grim 😀)