"Here." The police officer said and handed me her letter.
I adress this letter to you because you're the only caring person that I've had in my life.
So this letter will be about you. There's no point to talk about anything else, really.
So I'm here, finally letting go of all this. I know It's not the best way to let go but you know how this life just wasn't for me.
I think that all this was just a cover for our cold hearts, and how we lied.
We lied about being happy. We lied about having normal, loving hearts.
I had no love for anyone until you came along. And with that, you made me believe there really is love in this world, in a person.
By now, you're obviously hoping that I didn't do this because of you.
I don't want nor have to explain. This just wasn't for me.
I know that today in school wasn't the real you. At least I hope it's not. I think it was just stupid reaction like always.
It was the best summer I ever lived through. The memories we created, the warm nights that melted our cold hearts.
I was trapped. Even if I would fall in love again with someone new, I could never love them the way I loved you.
I've said it before I'll say it again.
Two negatives create positive, right?
What we had was so unreal and unique.
No one loved you like I did, and I believe no one loved me like you did.
No one loved me at all.
This letter can't explain anything, I know. It's not long enough as well.
I'm sorry it had to turn out this way.
I guess you can say my heart is physicaly cold now.
My heart's colder. I win.
I'm sorry I cut my hair short. I know you liked it when it was long and blonde.
I love you no matter what.
I finished reading the letter as I felt the teard rolling down my cheeks.
"I'm so sorry." The teacher said.
I got up and ran outside, holding tightly her letter in my hand.
I ran fast. Faster than I ever did. Faster than when me and her were running away.
I still can't believe it. I can't believe she's gone. She's not here anymore. She's not breathing anymore.
I ran to our mountain. I couldn't stop running.
I was running away from something I can't run away from. Guilt. Anger. Sadness.
Once, I escaped sadness, now I can't.
It took me two hours of running to get here.
And then it made me feel even worse. I sat on the floor and started crying.
"Sunnie, why?" I cried out
I stared at her letter. I stared at every single word.
I started talking to her, hoping she can hear me.
"Sunnie? I know you can't hear me but at least saying this out loud is better than not saying anything.
Any kind of goodbye is good.
I'm sorry..ummm.. I still can't believe you're gone. I love you. I love you so much. And I fucked up, I know.
For months and months I wanted to talk to you, but that's useless now.
Do you remember how we used to go here all the time?
I miss you already.
I couldn't get the chance to say my goodbye, so I have to improvise now.
I'm sorry all this turned out this way. You shouldn't have done this. Now I'm going to be so alone.
You don't even realise how alone I actually am. And now I'm going to be so lost without you.
When you were around the school it made me less alone just looking at you, and remembering how your touch feels.
If I never came up to you, you would still be alive.
But we would both be so alone last summer.
I hate myself that this happened. I hate myself I let this happen.
Sunnie, I'm so sorry." I finished and started crying again.
And I cried here alone, for hours.
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Cold Hearts || Miniminter AUFanfiction
»Our love faded away. You don't even notice me anymore. But in my eyes, you're still my whole world. I just want to survive my first winter without you. « | WARNING: Depression, Self-Harm & Alcohol use READ AT OWN RISK!! |