Catered

Chapter Six: Can't Help (Aria's POV)

I get home and stomp slush off my boots. Then I head into kitchen, looking to drown my sorrows in baking a good old-fashioned chocolate cake.

            But when I get into the kitchen, I find my mother in tears, a wine glass in her hand. Ugh. The last thing I want to do is damage control. But it’s my weekly task. At least once a week, Mom and Ned have a wicked fight, usually involving Ned saying something stupid at the end. But then I do my damage control and it’s all kisses and hugs and fine wine again. Too bad I’m not half as good at meddling in my own love life as I am at meddling in others’.

            I sit down by the kitchen table and put my hand on my mom’s hand. “What happened?”

            “H-He said that he regrets ever marrying me,” she blubbers, her voice breaking into a sob again, “and that he hates m-my….”

            “Your what?”

            “You. My sulky daughter!”

            I feel a bit of indignation welling up inside me. Okay, fine, sometimes I’m sulky, but I’ve saved their marriage enough times to compensate.

            I get up. “Let me go talk to him.”

            Cautiously, I knock on the bedroom door.

            “Enter,” Ned booms. Now I get why the interns at his office are always so frenzied. Dude’s scary.

            I carefully come in. Instead of saying what I want to say, which is something along the lines of , “You ungrateful bastard. I saved your sorry ass so many times,” I say, “Hi.”

            “Hi.”

            “So I heard what happened with you and Mom. I’m sorry I haven’t been the nicest to you. You’ve been married for six years. It’s time for me to grow up and let go of my childish notions.”

            “Thank you, sweetheart. I appreciate it.”

            “It’s nothing. All I want is for you and Mom to be happy together. I know I’ve made that a bit difficult. Are you willing to forgive Mom and me?”

            “Of course.” Then he does something out of character: He kisses the top of my head. Ned usually doesn’t give open affection like that, at least to me. “Let’s go talk to your mom.”

            I note how he refers to her as “my mom,” like I’m still thirteen. But I ignore it because all I want is a little bit of peace. So we walk into the kitchen together and everybody kisses and hugs. And over Ned’s shoulder, my mother mouths a thank you.

            Just as the affection gets to a saccharine-sweet level, I clap my hands and say, “So…who’s in the mood for some chocolate cake with ice cream?”

            “Oh, I’m on a diet, but I always have room for your chocolate cake,” Ned says, patting his stomach.

            “You know chocolate’s my weakness,” Mom says. And it’s true. I used to use chocolate as a bargaining chip when I was younger. For example, I would convince her to give me more money by telling her I would use some to buy chocolate for her. Worked every time.

            You were a conniving little shit even when you were young. Going behind people’s backs, just like you did tonight.

            I silence that little niggling voice the only way I know how: Baking. But I can’t hide forever, because as I’m mixing the batter, my flour-stained phone vibrates. I wipe the screen off and steal a glance at who the text is from. Derek.

            “I can’t get that kiss out of my head.”

            Truthfully, I can’t either. I mean, I know I kissed Austin and all. But I didn’t feel the same need, the same urgency, and the same whispers of, “I love you. I need you. I miss you,” in that kiss. I didn’t feel that ache, that need for more in my kiss with Austin. All I felt was a sad need to pretend I was in love.

            Then I think about how Derek looked so sincere, so sad, so apologetic. So I text back, “Me neither.” With a winking face.

            My mom walks in just then and picks up my phone. I’m about to dive across and grab it from her, but I decide to let her look. It’ll make her happy. She loved Derek. Austin on the other hand? Probably hatred at first sight.

            You want Derek so badly, you thirsty idiot.

            I do. I want him so bad it hurts. But then there’s Austin. Adorable, innocent, and just as unforgettable. But he just doesn’t have that one thing, that one je ne sais quoi that makes Derek so attractive.

            It’s because he’s a cheater. You only want him because you like the risk.

            I mix even harder to distract myself. But I can’t help but thinking about how Derek is my equal in every way and Austin’s just….not.

            My mother sets my phone down. “So, are you getting back together with Derek?”

            I wiggle my eyebrows. “Maybe, maybe not.”

            She smiles. In moments like these, where it’s just her and me, I see her as she used to be. Not Denise Rochester, the wife of a CEO and society’s VIP. I see her as Denise Allan, mom and mentor, who stroked my hair and told me secrets, who I confided in more than my friends.

            Just then, my phone rings. Ironically, it’s Parachute’s “Can’t Help.” Perfect for Derek.

            Yeah, everywhere I go,

            yeah,  no one else I know,

            that shines as bright as you

            in my telescope.

            I pick up, and put it on speaker. “Hello?”

            “Hi,” Derek says in his deep voice.

            “So why’d you call?”

            He clears his throat. “We have some things to discuss.”

            “Derek…I..” I start. Then suddenly, everything comes out. At some point, my mom leaves.

            By the end, I’m crying. “And I really want you, so badly. But I don’t know if it’s right.”

            He’s quiet. “Derek, you there?”

            “Come over right now.”

            “Okay.” I sniffle and hang up. I need to talk to him face to face. Hell, I just need him. His soft hair. His cinnamon smell. His bright, intense eyes.

            I leave, yelling out instructions about the cake. And somehow, as I leave, I feel like I’m on a cliff and I’m jumping. And it’s either the biggest mistake or the most exhilarating fall ever.