Being engaged to the one you love is more than great, it's better than playing on stage, letting your feelings be spoken through each and every note you hit, or chord you make. Mike and I decided to go the beach to swim and have some fun as newly a newly engaged couple. I slid on my swimming trunk and held Mike's hand as we walked on the warm sand towards the water. I looked at Mike, "Mike, this is the best day ever." I whispered and kissed him. Nothing could ruin this night. That is, I thought nothing could. After I pulled away from Mike's soft lips a man and a women came walking up to us. "Can I help you?" Mike asked politely with a smile on his face. The man and the women looked at us in disgust, "No, but you surely do. Being gay is a sin. How dare you be with another man while you're a man! Haven't you ever read the bible or even went to church?" The women spat at Mike. I looked at her, with an annoyed facial expression. "If being with the one I love is a sin, then fuck it, send me straight to hell. Because without this man I would be dead. Just consider me Hell bound." I yelled back at the couple. I leaned in and kissed Mike one more time before we walked away from the shocked and arrogant people behind us. "I always thought you were shy. But what you just said back there is amazing. I love you more than words can express." Mike said in awe. I smiled at his words. I never knew I had it in me either. But I guess, sticking up for the love of my life is different than just talking to random strangers. I just can't believe people are so rude. I'm not atheist, no one from the band is. We just believe that people can love whoever the hell they want. With saying that, I'm in love with another man, and I see nothing wrong with that.
I just stood there as Tony yelled at the couple. "If being with the one I love is a sin, then fuck it, send me straight to hell. Because without this man I would be dead. Just consider me Hell bound." I heard him say. I was trying to fight the urge of dropping my jaw at his words. I was in awe, I was surprised, and I was glad I had such a brave person to be my Fiance. Where would I be without Tony? Heaven. But right now, hell seemed so right.
*When they arrived back at the hotel*
"So when do you want to schedule the wedding babe?" I asked Tony as I laid in our bed looking at my phone that was in my hands. Tony thought for a minute and then answered, "4 months?" He questioned me. I shook my head in approval. Tony got up and went to the fridge and grabbed two beers. One for him, and one for me. I popped the top open and took a drink out of the can as I heard knocking on the door. I looked at Tony and he'd beaten me to the door before I could even think about answering it.
I set my beer on the night stand and walked over to the door. I opened the door and looked up and instantly said "Hello?" at the person standing before me. It was a girl with green hair, a lip piercing, ear rings, and tattoo's covered her arms. She was wearing black skinny jeans, converse, and a Bring Me The Horizon shirt. She looked so familiar, then it hit me. I met her when I was in High school, I took her to the Prom. That night I fell in love with her. But after the Prom ended, I never saw her face again. Her name was Jennifer Anne Lainly. I was sort of surprised to see her standing at the door, but also confused on how she remembered me, where she went after Prom, and why the fuck was she here now and how did she find me? I looked up into her blue eyes. They still sparkled like they did the night of Prom. "What do you want?" I asked in a hush tone. "I wanna apologize Tony, I'm sorry. I still love you." She said quietly, her voice was cracking and I could tell she wanted to cry. "Who is it babe?" Mike yelled from inside the Hotel room. "No one." I answered, shutting the door on Jennifer's face. I turned around to see Mike standing behind me. "Who was she?" He asked with confusion. I shook my head, "Some girl wanting autographs." I told him. I just lied straight to his face. Why? I have no idea. Was I still in love with Jennifer? Maybe, I don't fucking know. I haven't seen her in forever. Mike shook his head and went into the bathroom to change into his pajama's. I turned around and looked at the ground near the door. There was a paper being slid through the crack of the door. It was folded and said "Tony Perry," I picked it up and whispered through the crack, "You have to leave now. I'll talk to you later." then I heard the sound of Jennifer's black converse hitting the floor as she walked towards the elevator. I sighed in relief, that went some-what smoothly I guess. I looked at the paper I was holding in my hand. I took a deep breath and unfolded the paper and began to read it.
Tony, I know you're probably confused, asking yourself a lot of questions. Well, I'll just answer them straight away. How did I find you? I saw a Pierce The Veil flyer and it said you were in Paris for 2 weeks, I have a friend who works at this hotel and she told me you were here, so I flew from San Diego all the way here, to Paris. How do I remember you? How could I forget you is an eassier question, I remember when I moved to town and started going to your school a few weeks before Prom. I always admired you, your love of turtles and Star Wars, your hair, your shyness, your love of music. Everything really. When you asked me to go to Prom with you, it was the best day of my life. When Prom was over my happiness began to fade away. I had to move away, to Nebraska. I had to go to a new school where no one liked me and I didn't fit in. I had no friends, I was being bullied, I was being abused and looked down on. I'm just sorry I didn't get the chance to say I'm sorry until now. Years later. I also just wanted to say I love you, always have and always will. I know I probably have no hope on being with you ever again. You're engaged now, in a band, touring, and having fun. There is no way I expect you to throw away your life over some girl you took to Prom. I know I messed up, I know I'm just some depressed, suicidal whore that's in love with someone they have no hope with. I'm sorry, I wish you the best. I'm leaving Paris tomorrow at 2:00Pm, I'm going back to San Diego. Bye.
Sincerely, Jennifer Anne Lainly
I was shocked and surprised, and sad as I read the words scribbled on the piece of crumbled paper. I felt bad for her. Her life was so horrible, she was helpless. I couldn't help but think about how much I loved that girl. Her eyes always filled with joy. But now they were filled with regret. How her hair was always a bright blue. Now it was a dull green, hiding all mistakes in coloring in her hair. How her hands were so soft as I held them at prom, but now, as I saw them, they were cracked and worn. What the fuck was I going to do? I'm engaged, with the most amazing man ever, and I love him more than anything else! But now, the most amazing girl I loved in high school was depressed and clearly needed help and a hug. I sat down and shoved the note in my pocket and ran my hands through my hair. What the fuck was I doing? What the hell was I going to do? I need answers.