So Confused

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So Confused... Oct 31, 11 2:14am

I can’t seem to sleep

I’m getting tired of counting all these sheep

Your face keeps popping out in my mind

I just want to leave everything you’ve left behind

All these memories keep playing inside my head

The regret from all these words I left unsaid

All those moments you showed how much you cared

Reliving all our conversations, laughter and smiles

Boy, I love your poise, your personality and your style

I feel my heart beating insanely in my chest

These butterflies in my stomach are hard to compress

This crazy adrenaline rush pumping through my veins

You're the only one who listens to all of my complains

All I could picture in my mind is everything about you

You've gotten me so high-strung with the things that you do

Your cute face staring at me with those bright brown eyes

Your happiness was so contagious

Your ridiculous smile puts a spell on me every time

Your goofy voice never fails to brighten up my day

The way you looked back was so comforting

Having you by my side is a fun experience

Your personality is uniquely awesome

But now, why do you have to torture me like this?

I hate being in this dreadful position again

I hate having confusion eat me alive

Why can’t you just tell me?

I need to hear your words

I need to hear the truth from your voice

Not what everyone else keeps telling me

When I’m with you, everybody else doesn’t seem to matter anymore

I don’t care how they see me

I couldn’t give a damn about what they say about me

Rumors stay rumors unless given proof

You’re my biggest rumor and I yearn for your proof

My emotions are so heightened, so hard to control

Our memories are too amazing to forget

Questions keep swirling around me

As I lay hopeless on my bed

Every scenery keeps stabbing me ruthlessly

Bringing up mixed up feelings that I can’t explain

Anger, regret and grief is killing me

Joy, fun and laughter is bringing me back to life

Just get out of my head, please let me sleep for at least tonight

Tell me you don’t care about me

Tell me everything in the past were just lies

Tell me we’re just friends, nothing more

You were so wild and carefree

I was just laid back and went with it

Just so irritating and complicated

So unclear and so indescribable

Help me shake this off

I want to forget everything you’ve done

Every smile that you faked for me

Everything you’ve said behind my back

Every lie that you’ve told me

Yet I could always remember

Every single moment you were there for me

Every touch that sparked on my skin

Every secret you’ve entrusted me with

The way you would randomly hold my hand and pull me away

Every time I zone out you tend to bring me back to earth

No, I want to forget, I want to erase

What am I saying? What I really want is to REPLAY…


Author's Note: i'm sorry if it's too long. i woke up 2:14am at October 31, 2011 because of this. This problem has been bugging me for months now, i cant sleep! i keep having dreams and visions in my head  that makes me smile, frown and cry at the same time! crazy right? haha, well that's just me.

after months of this, i think i finally found the reason why i couldn't sleep... i just got off my bed (which was hard as hell to do), grabbed a pen and wrote down everything in my tired mind on a piece of paper. 

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