26th October 2016 All Rights Reserved.
Everyday was pretty much the same for me. Except with a little more information which has flitered through my mind.
I was in a hospital. I don't know why I was here or how, but I can tell by a few sounds and smells that i am in a hospital.
I have been able to identify Jack, Mrs Beemer, Jen and Barb and The kingsleys who come every few days to visit.
Since I have been more aware of things but yet still not being able to move, I have been able to understand some of the conversations that the others have been having.
One conversation which would have had me frowning was one that Jack was having with Mrs Beemer. From what I have managed to gather is that Mrs Beemer's long lost daughter was Simone Jacobs. Jacks mother.
That made Mrs Beemer his grandmother.
If that wasn't enough of a shock, I found out that the real reason she has stayed working for the West family was because of me. Simone's cousin was Theresa Winters.
My mother. That makes Mrs Beemer my aunt and Jack is my cousin. Cool. Now I can rag him out alot more than before.
Me and Jack were cousins. Who would have thought it?
Not me for sure. I wonder what he thinks about it.
But there was still this black hole in my memory that was there and no matter how many times I try to see into it, it hurts too much.
I have to leave it alone for a while.
Something bad has happened and no one is talking about it at the moment. But I wish they did. I might hear something that will help me understand what has happened.
Yet every now and again a thought flitters through my mind and I try to clamp onto it. But it continues to allude me darn it.
I don't know when it sort of came to me that the one voice I haven't heard was my fathers. I guess that maybe he was busy with work alot like he usually was.
But at least Mrs Beemer, or aunty something or rather, came to see me. I think her name was Patricia.. or Patrice.
Then I heard something that froze all of my thoughts and I was sure I heard them wrong when they were talking. They have to be.
My father was dead.
But he couldn't be.
He might not be the best father, but I saw that he was nice sometimes when he didn't know I was watching. I wondered what happened to him and if I could have cried, I would have.
I wondered when that happened?
And the moment I wondered that thought, that dark abyss that was in my mind clawed at me and pulled me back down into it's depths for a while.
Some time had passed again when I found out that some months have passed since I was in here. The others were all the same and so was that deep voice. But I still couldn't place him.
I don't think it was someone I have spent anytime with before. Maybe that was why I couldn't put a face to the voice.. or a name either. But I'm sure that it will eventually come to me.
My sense of smell was coming back too. I could smell roses and daisy's and a few carnations. Sometimes they would be strong and sometimes they would be faint smelling.
I think they had been bouquets of flowers in vases close by my that were giving off a nice floral scent in the room. I like flowers and I liked gardening. I remembered those things.
And I liked fishing too.
I remembered the many times that I would follow my grandfather when he went off fishing down at the river. He eventually taught me all that I needed to know about fishing too.
I missed him very much when he died. I didn't have anyone much to fish with after that except the new friend I had, Jack.
At first, he didn't want to know anything about fishing. It stank he said. I gave him stank when I gutted a fish and threw the guts at him. Since he wasn't expecting that, he copped it all over him.
He was really pissed at me for that and stomped off home to tell his daddy on me.
I just laughed as I finished gutting and scaling that fish. I took it home to Mrs Beemer and we had fish for dinner that night. I reckon we could live on the fish that i caught over the years from that river.
Eventually, Jack came back fishing with me and he also began to catch some too which he took home.He said that his daddy really loved that fish and cooked it up really good for them.
I felt so proud of Jack doing that.
Grandpa said that if you give someone a fish, they will eat for a day. But if you teach them how to fish, they will eat forever. I think he read that somewhere because I have read it somewhere as well.
At least Jack can feed himself and his dad if ever they get broke.
I don't know when a face flashed through my mind. It belonged to a man who was maybe a dozen or so years older than me. I have to say that he was really good looking. The word 'yummy' came to mind when i see his face.
But I couldn't place it. Not then anyway.
But it eventually came to me. It was that deep voice who helped me remember. Plus the conversation he was having with Jack.
It was his father.
The deep voice that continued to talk to me all the time was his father, Reid Nolan. It was also his hands that soothingly brushed the hair away from my face and lightly touched my cheek.
It was his voice I heard sometimes saying sorry to me when no one else was around. I wondered what he was sorry for. Maybe throwing that rock at me that time.
I have a small scar on the side of my face because of it. He must have been really upset about something when he chased me off like that. But he doesn't sound angry now with me.
That's good I was thinking.
But it was the talk he was having with Jack that had me jerking in pain. Not visibly jerking. I had guessed alot earlier that I was paralized and in a coma. Only I wasn't in the coma all the time. Just some of the time.
They were talking about Jacks baby brother that died.
If I could frown, I would have. Jack never mentioned a baby brother to me before he went on his holiday or when he came back. I guess it must have been a secret I suppose.
But there was something niggling me about that baby for some reason. In fact, each time I went to think about it, my heart hurt. It really did.
I heard an alarm go off at one point and there were all these strangers rushing around me doing all sorts of things to me and the machines I was attached to.
But once I settled down, so did the machines.
But the thought was there now. That black pit was holding the memories of that baby boy and it wouldn't let them surface. It made me wonder what other memories were hiding in there.
YOU ARE READING
Too Ugly To TameChickLit
He called me feral. I was too wild. I was too ugly to tame and too ugly to love. The only friend I had was his son Jack, who I felt had a kindred spirit like mine. We both were wanting to roam free and to explore the world around us. Even if it w...