It has been three days, Isaac has been avoiding me like the plague. In class he has moved seats so he is on the other side of the room, no where near me. He won't talk to me. Heck he won't even look at me. I'm starting to loose faith that he will ever talk to me again. I thought that after a few days, once he's had chance to calm down maybe he would speak to me but I was so wrong. As the days go on his tries to distance himself more and more. I have never felt so alone, even though I still have the others I don't feel the same. I miss Isaac. I miss his hug. I miss his smile. I miss the banter that we share and the way he puts his arm around me. I miss everything about him.
Last night I actually cried myself to sleep. I was on the phone to Jenna, obviously she didn't know what has happened so when she asked how things were I just burst out crying. After numerous attempt to calm down, I managed to tell her about the whole situation. She told me to 'hang in there, things will sort themselves out'.
After I got off the phone from Jenna I just broke down again until I fell asleep. The thing that hurts the most isn't the fact that I don't have Isaac but the fact that he would think so little of me and not believe me when I try to say that I didn't kiss Joe back.
I haven't been into work since everything happened either because I've told them I'm ill. Truthfully I just don't want to face Joe. In fact, I don't even leave my room unless it's too go to school but I only go to school because I suck at pulling sickies. I've completely cut myself off from the world which probably isn't the best thing to do but I can't help it. I shouldn't be wallowing in my own self pity but I just feel so empty, so foolish.
"Jessica come on, you've got school." Mum calls through the door.
"I'm really ill." My voice is scratchy from all of the crying that I've been doing over the past three days so it's actually believable that I am ill. I've cried enough to refill the river Nile if it ever dried out.
"Come on Jessie." Mum sighs. She knows that I'm not ill but she doesn't know what is wrong because I haven't been able to tell her. I sigh and drag myself out of bed.
"I'm up." I sniffle. I go straight into the bathroom to have a wash. I had a bath last night in attempt to clear my head but that didn't work.
Once I've freshened up I go back into my room pulling on some black skinny jeans, a grey shirt and my black hoodie on top. I brush my hair so it doesn't look so messy, I have to look at least half presentable if I have to leave my room. Saying that, right now I couldn't really care less how I looked.
I look in the mirror once I'm done, my face screws up at the sight of my reflection. My eyes are bloodshot, dull and lifeless. My cheeks are red from all of the crying. I look like death warmed up to say the least.
"I've made some pancakes." Mum chirps, knowing that I love pancakes.
"Thanks." I take the plate but my stomach flips at the sight of the food. Putting the plate down I quickly run to the toilets before emptying what little contents I have in my stomach. I brush my teeth before going back downstairs. "I'm not hungry, sorry." I sigh as I grab my bag. "I'm just going to head to school." With that I leave the house to begin my slow journey to one of the places I now dread the most.
My brain decided to have a battle with itself over the one person who is always on my mind.
You need to get over him. It's for your own good.
He will come around, he just need time he is in shock.
It has been three days how long does he need?
Just a tiny bit longer. A few days and he will come round.
He clearly wants nothing to do with you, if you don't get over him soon then you are going to make yourself ill.
I want to scream as my mind has a battle with itself. I wish I could escape.
Eventually, I reach the depressing place that we call school. There are a few people who have already arrived but not many people. I spot Matt with two cups of water walking across the field. My eyes follow him as he walks over to a bench where someone is sitting with their head down and hood up, hiding their identity. I know exactly who it is though. As Matt approaches him he lifts his head up confirming who it is. Isaac. His skin is pale and his eyes are dark. I turn away before I get too caught up.
"I miss you." I mutter before walking away.
Matt hands me a cup of water telling me to take small sips. I feel terrible which is to be expected. I couldn't help myself. The pain all got too much. Last night l was sitting there and before I knew it there was a bottle of alcohol in my hands. I had unscrewed the lid and taken a large swig. The next thing I knew, I'd downed the whole bottle. I got absolutely bladdered and ended up calling Matt, thankfully it wasn't someone else. I stayed at Matt's last night and this morning we came to school early because, well I don't know why, probably because he didn't want his family seeing me hung over and looking like a mess.
"Isaac you can't let yourself slip back. You need to pull yourself together before it's too late. Bro if you miss her then go after her."
"Why should I?" I ask quietly, my head is still pounding so I speak quietly. Matt simply shakes his head at me.
"You'll realise soon." He says before going silent. I don't need to realise anything. I know it's best not too argue right now so I leave the conversation where it is, focusing on the water in my hands. I actually felt carefree last night because of the intoxication. Maybe that will be my route out of this pain. I'm sure a few bottles or a few blunts can't hurt, at least until I'm over this.
YOU ARE READING
Isaac is your typical popular, bad boy jock. He has the looks, the brains and the girls. He has everything that a boy his age could ever want. His family aren't rich however they have enough money to live comfortably. One particular girl catches Dr...