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Pen Your Pride

Confession Time

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I guess I managed to keep my promise to update again today :). Hope you enjoy this chapter! Also I dedicate this chapter to michi2020 for giving me the idea to write Noel's back story in this chapter. I couldn't think of anything at the beginning of the story, sorry.

Confession Time

When we got to Demi's place, she asked me to come to the living room with her. I nervously followed her to the teal-coloured room.

Demi sat on one side of the couch, and me on the other. Demi had her body turned to me, while I sat with my hands on my knees.

"Can I please see your arms, Noel?" I came closer to her and I pushed back my sleeves to reveal my cuts. Rows and rows of them. Demi gasped and her eyes started filling with tears.

Demi's POV

When I saw Noel's cuts back at the fitting room, I couldn't believe how much pain she's been going through. And now, I am sitting on my living room couch with Noel staring at her through my tear-filled eyes.

I looked back down at her left arm and noticed a cut that stood out from the rest. I brought my head up to look at Noel's face. She looked down in sadness.

"When was the last time you cut?"

"Ahh…"

"The truth please?", I asked with concern. She shut her eyes in and breathed in. "This morning."

"Why?"

"When I tried on the clothes you lent me this morning, I looked so fat. I didn't know I was in the washroom for a while until you called me. I didn't want you to see me, but you were gonna have to see me sooner or later anyways. I don't know. I just panicked, and I needed something to relieve me."

"If I say, 'you're beautiful', would you believe me?"

Suddenly her face lit up. "Of course, Demi! Having that come from to you would mean so much to me."

"Well it's true"

She smiled and a flush of red filled her face.

"Would you mind telling me your story?", asked Demi.

*Noel's Flashback*

A few days ago, my older brother, Justin died from suicide. He was 17. Nobody saw it coming. I blame myself for not noticing the changes, because we would spend a lot of time together since we're so close. I guess I should've noticed the hint of sadness in his eyes or the way how he would force his smiles. In his note when he left, he said he was cyber bullied.

I entered my middle school's halls after a few days of absences. I had on my favourite hoodie, shorts, and my Jansport backpack on one shoulder while I headed to my locker.

One thing I don't like about my locker is that it's next to Jessica's. She's the queen bee in the school and always finds an opportunity to harass me. I've never told the teachers, because they all see her as this star student, so they won't believe me anyways.

I saw Jessica coming her way towards her locker and I hid myself with my locker door. Pathetic I know.

As I collected my stuff for my morning classes, I heard her demeaning voice.

"Trying to hide yourself from me?" I could just imagine her standing there with her arms crossed proudly while having an evil smirk on her face. "How pathetic." She slammed my locker in my face and pushed me hard onto the ground. Ouch.

Standing above me were Jessica and her three friends. They all wore similar designer clothing with Jessica standing out the most.

"We heard your brother killed himself", spoke Jessica. "No wonder, you were just a bother in his life. A mistake. A fat, ugly mistake. You should go cut yourself, you f*g." She laughed.

"See you in class, Noel", said Jessica happily in hate.

I sat there crying my eyes out. Was I really that ugly and fat? I know I shouldn't listen to her, but something is making me think less of the positive and more of the negative in me.

I went into the girl's washroom, put my books and pencil case on the counter and grabbed some paper towels. As I was cleaning myself up, I saw my reflection and noticed I'm not as skinny as Jessica or her friends. Maybe if I lost some weight, they'll won't call me fat anymore.

That day, I didn't eat the sandwich my mom packed for me and I avoided dinner by saying I wasn't hungry.

*Triggering*

I also cut for the first time. I was in my room with scissors in my right hand and blood seeping out of my left wrist.

I always regret doing it, but it felt so good, I couldn't stop. Omg I am such a screw up.

When I couldn't avoid skipping breakfast or dinner from my parents any longer, I started throwing up after meals.

Soon almost the entire school was against me. This only caused me to cut and throw up more each day. Even on an empty stomach. I didn't care, 'cause I know I deserved it. I deserved to be punished. I hate my life so much. Why can't they just leave me alone?!

*End of Flashback*

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